I have mixed reviews about the Twisted Branch Tea Bazaar*, but I'm going to give it 5 stars because I think it's an experience everyone should have at least once. I love this place, but I hate it too. Let me explain.
You walk up the stairs to enter a dimly lit room full of exotic decorations with a hint of smoke in the air. Pick up one of their big menus and try to get one of the low tables towards the front (especially if you're planning to get a hookah and want the full experience, sitting on a pillow on the floor with your shoes off), or try to nab the best seat in the house, the little alcove shrouded with a beaded curtain towards the back. I think they got rid of the plush couches piled with colorful pillows in recent years, but that was always the third best location. For a secret rendezvous, meet up in the very back, down the hall and past the bathrooms, beside the back porch.
I almost always went just for a pot of tea. They have a great selection of Chinese and Japanese teas; blacks, greens, whites, pue-erhs, oolongs, rooibos, herbals; hot and cold. Ask your server if you're feeling overwhelmed--they know their teas, and they can give you recommendations or answer any questions you might have. They're often out of teas though, so when you're ready to order, make sure you have a couple of back-up choices. Make it a point to try something new every time!
The tea comes in cute little pots with small cups, each set unique. Their teaware seems to be a collection of sets gathered over the years, rather than a big set purchased for the sole purpose of opening a tea house. This, and the punk-ish cooks and servers in the open kitchen area, makes it feel like you're just visiting a friend at their home.
I've only eaten here once, for lunch, and they have a good selection of healthy vegetarian food. I had some delicious hummus with herb-y pita and fresh crunchy vegetables.
The Twisted Branch has character, no doubt about it. And now I'll explain the negatives. There is a certain atmosphere here that always, without fail, gives me a headache. Maybe it's the sickly sweet-smelling smoke emanating from the flavored-tobacco filled hookahs. But most likely it's the loud discordant music that is either playing over the speakers, or even louder, by the live punk band at the front. I've no problem with loud music, but the combination is too much. I once sat crammed in a stiff wooden chair, with my legs all twisted under the table, while a large red-bearded man playing a trumpet/accordion/drum contraption paraded back and forth past me. Each time he took a step, his leg caused a mallet to pound the drum he was wearing on his back, and this mallet literally nearly pounded my ear every time he passed. This was not a nice experience.
When you go into the Tea Bazaar, you feel cool. You feel like you've entered some alternative world, and it's the kind of place you'd like to think you belong in. You're unique, fascinating, creative, and intellectual. You feel like you should be talking about the existence of God and pondering the meaning of life...
...or you could just go to catch up with friends. During the week is your best bet for a quiet cup of tea because the live performances are usually on weekends. Quiet times are nice for a casual conversation, or, even better, a silent game of backgammon or chess. (You may need to use coins or other doodads to fill in the missing pieces.)
Oh, and last thing: the bathrooms may not appear to be the cleanest or nicest, but every time I've been there, they always have the best smelling soap. I think it's handmade, or something. In any case, after slurping down cup after cup of tea, use the bathroom...and wash your hands!
* This review is based on my experience of the place between 2003-2007, so apologies if things have changed with new management! read more