Local lizard man of Laguna Beach cosplays coffee connoisseur in the city seeking global reptilian take over. This is not a drill, archons have breached our quiet streets, and they are serving your cappuccino with milk at 140-150 degrees. If you don't follow ufology or American football, allow me to explain.
Thorne Brothers is a seemingly charming up and coming coffee shop in one of Southern California's most prominent tourist towns. With its store front just a stone's throw away from the pacific, this café is destined to drain the pockets of all local folk and outsider riffraff alike. You may find yourself enchanted by the magnificent Beau Stanton mural, passionately portraying floral patterns and coffee beans to tie an artful element into an otherwise cozy corner, but don't be fooled. These draconians seek only to exist among us, learn our culture, and infiltrate our local government in the pursuit of lizard-likeness.
Every morning as the sun rises, cafe owner and local lizard man Torsten Thorne evacuates the underground tunnel subjacent to Broadway Street, zips his human suit, and settles into his concealment for a long day of pouring drip and duping coffee house patrons. Here is where his seemingly earthborn face greets you with a warm and familiar smile, like you're a neighbor or a friend. As you approach the counter, an irresistible aroma of dark fruits and chocolate wafts past you, and it's already too late. Like a hypnotist with a swinging pendulum, he strikes. Engaging you with all his masterfully crafted artisanal syrups, exotic pour overs, and luscious blends, even the most iron-willed of us have to fold for such a sensational cup of coffee.
With our guards down and fleshy bellies up, do our cups truly runneth over? Or are we simply so mystified by the otherworldly coffee brewed by our lizard kin that we've strayed too far from the truth? How far out exactly does a cold brew have to be in order to make average townies surrender to a supreme illuminati lizard overlord? Find out for yourself at Thorne Brothers Coffee in Laguna Beach and discover the scaley grip their out of this world coffee will have on you. read more