Before I begin, let me declare that I've the remarkable ability to attract trouble. I'm not a blender. And when I say blender, I speak not of the kitchen appliance. I mean I don't blend well into my surroundings. I've got red hair which reflects light (natural or man-made) and shines like a lighthouse beacon; I've got a peculiar posture, which lends me a peculiar style of walk; and, I don't know, I'm sure there must be other things. I attract attention, which, in turn, seems to land me in trouble.
I was dining at Wakefield Hotel with two friends when an American fellow came up and decided he ought to start talking to us. Now, I can't know for sure he was drunk, but he certainly appeared to be. Also, there was a glass of beer in his hand, and he was waving it around like a flag at the Olympics.
I like to make fun of people like this. It makes me friends laugh, and usually the person at whose expense they're laughing doesn't understand the insults I'm giving him. And, really, I'm still not convinced he understood any of my jokes. I just think he decided to take offense to me for no good reason.
Regardless, after a bit of... innocent redheads getting drinks spilled on them by drunk Americans, the staff of the Wakefield Hotel came to my rescue (though I could have totally handled it myself, if I wanted to). They escorted the fellow to a sign, which said that drinkers must remain seated. He apologised to everyone. Everyone. And then retook his seat.
Also, I had some pasta. It wasn't cheap, but it tasted okay. read more