This is one of those times I wish Yelp would allow zero stars because this place would deserve that rating. Let's start with booking a reservation. I started trying to book at 9:00 pm on Monday night through their website because it led me to believe that the place was so hip that there was no way to get in without reservations. Note to the dude bros yearning to appear tragically hip - you need a functional website. I got an email saying they acknowledged my existence, but they didn't try to get back to me until the next morning...and then they tried to call me from a blocked phone number. Maybe it's different in the UK, but in the US, most of us with any brains don't answer phone calls from numbers that are blocked. Then I got a snippy email saying they preferred to speak to me in person. Um, why? I just want to book a reservation. I persevered with email during the course of which I learned that I would need to make a £25 deposit to complete the reservation. Wow, this place must be hot! Three hours later, they sent me the link to make the payment. So, if you have to make a deposit to get a reservation, why isn't that all on the website? So, it took 5 emails, 18 hours and £25 to get a reservation at what alleged to be a trendy Victorian pub.
When we showed up, we were standing at the top of an abandoned stairwell, no indication of host/ess so we walked down. No one at the bottom either. We wandered into the bar, looking lost. The bartenders ignored us. We went to the bar to enquire about my reservation. They couldn't find it. I had to make multiple guesses at how it might be listed without any assistance from said bartender. Now, remember the lengths I had to go to to get this reservation...the place was half empty. They seated us at a table in the corner directly under the speaker blasting out bad electronica so loudly that we couldn't talk to each other or order, not that we were going to be allowed to order at the table. No table service, you can only order at the bar. We tried to ask for another table, but they mostly ignored us until the one decent table was gone, so we moved next to the door.
My brave husband went to the bar to order because I was to aggravated to deal with the staff. They have almost no wine to speak of and the only red available by the glass is Merlot. Seriously, did you guys not see "Sideways?" The bartender couldn't understand my husband ordering a gin and tonic. Um, hello, didn't you people invent this cocktail? The bartender couldn't understand my husband ordering the Reine pizza. He had to explain to the bartender (who was clearly annoyed at having to take an order) twice where we were sitting. My husband forgot to remind them about the £25 deposit I'd made. I happened to show up at the bar just as he was paying the bill (because I couldn't figure out what was taking so long), so we got it straightened out. But the bartender was surprised by this too. I see in the other reviews that everyone else paid the deposit, so how could the bartender be surprised?
In his frustration, my husband forgot to order the pizza gluten free. The only thing this place did right was to replace the pizza when I thought to ask if it was GF when it arrived (because I've learned that places that screw up, really screw up and it's the only way to avoid being poisoned). So, the pizza was dry, flavorless, and skimpy on ingredients. And pizza's the ONLY food they serve. I settled for cider, also a little off, also inexcusable in a country full of awesome ciders. The pizza came on an aluminum cafeteria tray. The glasses looked like they came from a thrift store.
And remember how the place was supposed to be "Victorian?" It was the whole reason we went. Nope, just a dumpy basement bar with a bunch of old Victorian photos cheaply photoshopped with lame bits of weird stuff on them.
Don't believe the breathless media reviews that this place is hip. It's more like a couple of dude bros had a few too many beers one night and decided that a few ridiculously bad photo mashups would make for an exciting experience. read more