The difference between a dump and a dive is that a dive is somewhat decrepit, worn, and seedy. But it redeems itself somewhat with personality or hidden qualities.
The Doyle is a dump.
Where, oh where, oh where to begin with this place?
As a resident, you will contend with all of the following: pervasive cigarette smoke. The rankest, skunkiest, cut rate crap weed available in the dankest swamp or moistest compost heap. Everyone smokes in the rooms. If there is an actual no smoking policy, it's a complete joke. The hallway is choked with a carcinogenic pall. NO ONE smokes on the porch.
Second, the rooms have neither air conditioning, nor screens on the windows. Your choices, then, if you are hot (which is the case all summer) is to either open the window above your door and inhale the cigarette fumes, or open the window which lets in a swarm of mosquitoes, gnats, black flies, and moths. The corpses of these slain bugs are all over the floor and ceiling, a testimony to the battles and past misery of other customers.
Spider webs are webs from spiders which are fresh. Cobwebs are spider webs which have collected dust, hair, dead insects, and which have lingered for months, or years. The Doyle is loaded from top to bottom with the latter. I absolutely doubt the rooms are dusted or vacuumed for cob webs even twice a year. It's like living in a terrarium. In the pecking order of the Doyle, insects come first, you come last.
What else? Holes in the ceiling, mold, water stains. Standing, fetid water in buckets which may or may not have been used to "clean" months prior. Fixtures held together with duct tape.
Arguments to justify this mess are the following:
1) "Miss Vickie is so nice!"
Yes, Miss Vickie is nice. But she's not diligent. Most of your time with her will be spent being regaled by lame, incoherent "jokes," japes, and jabber in the bar/restaurant/lobby. My suggestion is her time spent watching SyFy would be better spent cleaning the rooms. I'd definitely prefer less personality and more elbow grease. Miss Vickie, go perform your material on the insects while you vacuum the rooms, ceiling, and floors.
2) "The property is old."
This is completely spurious, dishonest, and horse crap. I have stayed in hostels, hotels, rooms, shacks, shelters in over fifteen countries and forty-nine US states and seven Canadian provinces. I've stayed in third world properties that were older, cleaner, and it's an insult to those diligent people who do manage to offer clean rooms at a reasonable rate. This property is not even close to old by non-American standards. I've stayed in run-down places in Bosnia, Serbia, Bulgaria, China, Mexico that cost as much or less, but which were far, far cleaner. The age of the property has ZERO to do with whether someone vacuums under a bed or uses duct tape to "fix" a shower which leaks through to floors below.
3) "But the food is great."
This one is incomprehensible to me. If an owner can't manage to remove dead insects, mop, sweep, or vacuum, WHY-OH-WHY-OH-WHY would you assume they would maintain cleanliness in a kitchen? To eat at this place borders on madness, in my view. No, I did not order any food. Why would I? Nor did I order any beer on tap. Care to guess how often, if ever, they've cleaned the taps on this place? The tubes for the beer probably look like Ron Jeremy's urethra.
Whether the food "tastes delicious" or not is totally irrelevant. It's about hygiene and this establishment makes its position on cleanliness totally clear.
4) "The clientele, mainly hikers, are particularly hard on the property."
This is simply insulting. First of all, most Appalachian Trail hikers are highly organized, highly fastidious with their gear, highly intelligent, and mindful of their impact on the trail and elsewhere. Certainly, there are some who are just immature jerks bent on causing mayhem and getting blotto drunk, but these are not the majority. Even so, the hikers certainly don't put cobwebs on the walls, seed the underside of beds with a herd of dust rhinos, or keep every single hallway dark as a crypt because the lightbulbs are all dead.
That all falls 100% on the management and if the owners were genuinely "nice," they'd be responsible and diligent, not jokey and clever with non-apologies and excuses. Talk the talk. Less dancing, joking, and more work.
Listen, if you want to "experience" this place, then drop in, look around, take your photos, but don't eat there, don't drink there, and definitely don't stay there. Some will lament that the trail will lose much should this place close. I completely disagree. The planet is full of shoddy, dirty, depressing places to stay and they're not hard to find.
Miss Vickie jokes that this place is a "no stars establishment." She's right. But her jest is not amusing. It's a dodge for simple incompetence and cynical irresponsibility. I will take a patch of dirt in the woods over this place one hundred times out of a hundred. read more