When a massage therapist misbelieves that she outranks a neurologist & the client paying her,…read morethere's a huge boundaries violation.
Tonight was supposed to be a relaxation celebration, culminating 5-years of hell, that is finally over. Instead? Angelina ruined my milestone, sabotaging it unprofessionally.
I specifically emailed her on both Thursday & Sunday, to avoid the *EXACT* scenario that played out tonight, that she could've prevented, if Angelina was trained to be a professional massage therapist, not use our session/my 90-minutes, for which I paid, as *HER* therapy session, to talk about *HER* feelings, when I simply wanted the massage, for which I invested time/$.
In fact, I've come to the conclusion that the entire time-boxed model of massages here may, in fact, be the problem. You pay for a 90-minute massage, but you don't get a 90-minute massage. Instead, the allocated time includes a chit-chat period, both before & after the massage, where you're supposed to describe how you feel in your body. It's a semi-therapist session, when all I really want is just the body work, to relax into my own body/nervous system. If I decide I want therapy, then I'll handle it myself, which is none of Angelina's or White Lotus' business, since they are not psychotherapists. They are a massage & yoga studio.
Tonight, I did exactly what Angelina & I previously discussed - told her I'd like to focus on relaxation today, and I have my entire life covered: by myself, which is none of her business, after I mistakenly had previously opened up to her, only for her to act like my mother: invalidating my needs, boundaries, thoughts & feelings, over-powering my voice, making me feel unsafe, unheard, and unseen. And not giving me the massage, for which I paid, wasting my time, per economics: opportunity cost.
Instead, she proceeded to broach my Thursday & Sunday emails, due to her failure to:
- respect me
- be trustworthy (honest, competent, and reliable)
- listen to me/my voice
- validate & honor my feelings (needs & boundaries)
Instead, she invalidated me.
And she wasted 2-hours I didn't have, driving to & from her, in traffic.
And wasted another 30-minutes talking - all about her failure to do a simple request that I asked - on Thursday & on Sunday - and add my neurologist's note to my account.
Kaley did this for Angelina, no problem.
Very simple.
Then, while I was reporting this entire drama, caused by Angelina's unprofessionalism/immaturity, to Kaley, Angelina came out to confess that - yes, as I expected/predicted - this was all due to her own failure. She wanted to talk to Ryan more about my neurologist's notes. Great! Then do that offline, Angelina, don't waste my time, during my massage appointment - paying you for body work - to talk about your administrative work, and about your feelings, when that's not why I'm there, nor why I'm paying you - for a service I never received.
This was after Angelina minimized & invalidated my experience the past 5-years being harassed by my next-door neighbor, while Denver Police failed to respond appropriately, as per my neurologist.
Then Angelina got *WAY OUTSIDE HER LANE* and totally violated my consent/privacy, and falsely alleged - in a public space - that I needed a therapist, when I never needed a therapist. Furthermore, I recently fired my private-pay healer/artist/shaman, who repeatedly gave me dangerous/destructive dating advice, for 5-years, leading to my private boundaries being violated by multiple men, which are none of Angelina's business, and way outside her scope of work. I solved the dating boundary violations via breakups, and I solved the two male neighbors misbehaving by installing CCTV.
As I told Kaley, who doesn't have Angelina's problems, when you're living in an unsafe house that's - let's use an analogy - on fire, you don't use Angelina's relaxation/calming techniques. You put out the fire, which is entirely foreign to Angelina, who wants to treat the scared body inside the house on fire, not put out the fire, which is the obvious answer, that anyone healthy can see & understand.
I remain totally uninterested in Angelina's *OPINION* on my being harassed by a neighbor older than my dead dad, which she knows nothing about, while she refuses/fails to listen to my valid medical doctor: a neurologist, given I'm here for my *NERVOUS SYSTEM*.
I do not welcome Angelina's extreme over-reach, especially when she's not a therapist, nor is this a therapy business establishment.
Then Angelina said, "let's talk about your nervous system," which was like talking to a wall, given I started the conversation by simply saying, "did you add my neurologist's letter(s) to my account? If so, great! Let's get down to relaxing in my body, via massage".
Let me add that I *NEVER* had these issues with my massage therapists in San Francisco, CA, Plano, TX, and Washington, DC, all of whom simply gave me a massage, without drama. As it should be.