Yesterday morning, I decided to surprise my wife and our 4-year-old daughter with a day trip to Splash Universe. I was pleased to see an online deal for day passes, and I coupled that with a pizza-and-arcade $25 deal.
Unfortunately, that's where my happiness ended, more or less.
Upon arriving at the gift shop to redeem our online order, I was greeted by a young man who told us it was his first day. I'm fine with that (we all have to start somewhere), but it was clear that he lacked even the ability to contact someone to assist with our order. After waiting 10 minutes or so, we were unceremoniously handed our wrist bands and pizza voucher, without being told where to go or how to redeem.
We walked into the water park area and eventually found the changing areas. I was frankly shocked to see the state of the showers and restrooms. The room was dingy, dark, and looked unclean. The men's room had standing water (perhaps a clogged drain?) in the urinal area, making me wonder if I was walking through urine. Later in the day when I returned to change back into street clothes, I saw a soiled diaper sitting on the floor, towels strewn all over, and the same pool of standing water.
The water park itself was mostly fine. I slipped and fell while walking past the treehouse area (is there no way to make a skid-proof water park surface?), but I can overlook that. The lifeguards, however, are another matter. I witnessed one lifeguard "whistling" another guard more than once, in the recognition that the latter guard was not properly gating children coming down the treehouse slides. Luckily no one ever got hurt. In the lazy river area, swimmers consistently pushed, shoved, and roughhoused, ignoring the "lazy" part of the river. No guards ever corrected this (though I concede this has been an issue at every park I've been to, it was particularly bad here).
The final nail in the coffin, and what caused my wife and I to become so exasperated that we swore we'd be unlikely to ever return, was the snack bar. I'd waited past noon to ensure that the line would go down so we could put in our order (large pizza, breadsticks, cookies, and a 2-liter of pop). All told, I believe it was roughly an hour from start to finish, before we finally gave up and left without a complete order. The pizza and pop came out after perhaps 30 minutes (with the pizza looking less like a circle and more like an amoeba), and we waited another 15 or 20 for the "breadsticks" (more like flatbread with garlic salt). The promised fresh-baked cookies never arrived, with the counter attendant offering up packaged Rice Krispie treats after more than 20 more minutes of waiting, and an apology of "I don't know what's going on back there," referring I presume to the kitchen. He mentioned that they didn't expect such a large crowd that day -- something that I find hard to believe, given that it wasn't, in fact, a terribly large crowd, and even if it was, it was a Sunday before a school holiday...of *course* you'll have a crowd.
The only saving grace for the day was that my daughter enjoyed herself. I suppose that's what counts in the end. Alas, my wife and I left feeling irritable, unwelcome, and beyond frustrated.
For what it's worth, I've been several times to Kalahari in Sandusky and to Zehnder's Splash Village in Frankenmuth. I didn't expect that Splash Universe would match either of these, since it's a smaller venue and had lower prices. But the fact that it fell so far short is astonishing. read more