Sit down. Let me tell you a story. This is a story about the time we decided to take our 4 kids to a water park as a last hurrah before school is back in session. We were looking for a room that sleeps 6, at a good sized indoor water park. Unfortunately, I didn't have 4 figures a night to drop on this adventure. So a quick Google search turned up Splash Universe. $149 for a king sized bed and 2 bunk beds? Including waterpark passes for 2 days? What a great deal, you might say!
We made the reservation, and were told we could arrive as early as 12 or 1 the day of, with standard check in listed as 3. We arrived at 2:35, and were told our room was not ready, but they would give me a call once it was, and if it was later than 3, they'd give us a 4 hour arcade pass. Great! So we took a quick jaunt across the street to Cabela's. Over half an hour later, I've received no phone call so we came back to the hotel to see if we could at least get the arcade pass so I have something for the kids to do. The girl at the counter seems miffed when I asked for the pass, as my room is now ready (it's 3:15, did they lose my phone number?), but gave it to me without a problem.
We get in the room, and it's small, and a bit outdated, but the kids love the bunk beds and we've got 3 tvs, so I'm feeling pretty good. Then we head down to the park area.
First thing we notice, is there are no towels. There is a handwritten sign saying they're out (supposedly for hotel guests only?). I know what you're thinking: a water park with no towels?! I know.
Second thing we notice is there are no directions. No signs. It's a free for all. Kids running everywhere. Everyone has access to everything, and we sure as heck didn't pay a $6.99 "spectator fee", we were just able to walk in and strap the kids into life jackets. Once the kiddos are knee deep in over-chlorinated water, we walked up to the second floor pub (or possibly nightclub, based on the type of music playing at high volumes) to overlook the park and have a drink for happy hour, which was posted at the front desk as 4-5pm. The waitress politely informs me "Happy Hour has always been 3-4". So we bought a couple drinks for twice the price and some cheesy bacon fries. The waitress didn't bring the sour cream for the fries until we were about halfway through, but other than the slow service, the fries and drinks were pretty decent.
Once we've reconvened at the room, the kids are ready to head to the arcade. They take the card with the four hours preloaded, and are informed by the first machine that they try that the card isn't worth squat. We call the front desk, and they deliver another one. As the kids are preparing to try that one out, the fire alarm goes off. We hear screaming and running, but it turns out to be a false alarm.
Now, it's 10 o'clock, the kids are tucked into their bunk beds, and we can hear every noise made in this building in a 5 room radius. I wish I were joking. My next door neighbors have an affinity for Ariana Grande. We can hear people walking down our hallway and the one above us. I can hear each word very clearly of the average volumed conversation happening between the teens next door. I'm hiding in my king sized bed, hoping these kids get any sleep and maybe a bit less disappointment tomorrow.
This place isn't bad if you get a deal like I did and your kids are under 10 and you come on a weekday where it's less packed (they're closed Wednesday's though, so...) and you don't mind paying $8 for fries at a pub with dirty tables waiting to be bused in a near empty facility. If that is not your situation though, pack some ear plugs and keep your expectations low.
*closes book, and kisses you on the forehead*
That's all for story time tonight, dear friends.
Edit: breakfast should be eaten anywhere else. But kids eat free, they say! Yes, only after you pay $13 per adult for the worst quality breakfast you can imagine. It's not palatable. My kids won't even eat the pancakes.
EDIT #2: changing from 2 star to 1 star. We unfortunately found a bed bug in our room. The staff was gracious and apologetic, but NOPE read more