Did you adopt adorable varmints during the pandemic? Us, too. A rescue pup with a medical journal-worthy case of anxiety and a rescue cat with more attachment issues than your ex.
After not leaving the house during the first six months we had these broads, we went on our first vacation. Woo boy! Fun fact: your dog CAN chew through a couch to the studs. Didn't know couches even contained metal? Me either. But Dolly Barkton was determined to educate us simpletons on the inner workings of home furnishings. As an amateur carpenter, Dolly needed privacy to conduct her work, so naturally she locked the door to the office where she had set up shop. That's right. The dog locked herself in the office. I'll leave out the tantrums over thunderstorms, the sight of other dogs, walks after dark, putting her harness on... I swear she's a good dog. (Said every indignant pet owner.)
Now, Mimi von Hissypants wasn't going to allow Dolly all the fun. She took this opportunity of newfound freedom and decided litterboxes were for babies. And even though she cries if she can't watch mom pee or her favorite toy, Higgins, skitters even slightly out of reach of her teeny little murderous mitten, she ain't no baby! So Mimi did what all big girls do and she turned the once soft, cozy spots in our condo into new bathrooms. I ought to buy stock in Nature's Miracle stain remover.
Again, we are on vacation. Out of the country. For 10 days. But did we have to come home early and face the wrath of our little domestic terrorists? Of course not! Because Shirley is a damn superhero. Originally booked to stay nights and visit during the day, Miss Shirley adapted to the insurrection that was occurring and made arrangements to provide 24-hour care. After a particularly bad night that would have sent anyone else running for the hills (and buddy, they'd have to run far with Illinois being flatter than a pancake), Shirley not only continued with the booking, but went to the pharmacy for Dolly's anxiety medication prescribed that morning.
After the unbelievable shenanigans these sasspots put her through, Shirley greeted us with a smile upon our return and told us we had darling little angels. Our plants were watered, the condo was neat and clean, and the girls looked happy and healthy.
Since that fiasco took place, Shirley has been a saint and continued to babysit the very non-babies. We will literally plan our trips around her schedule because no one can keep our heathens happy like she can. Well, except David. David is another saint who can get Dolly to go on walks like she's at a dog show. Even our curmudgeon doorman has stopped me to say how impressed he was with David's handling of the Doll.
It doesn't get better than Shirley & Co. read more
