Maybe 1 Star... I'm Still Recovering…read more
As I was walking into Sully's on Ming, the one combined with Smith's Bakery, I overheard the manager talking to the cashier about a really nice review they had recently received online. They were talking about how professionally written it was and how excited they were about it.
Naturally, I decided I needed to restore balance to the universe.
I jokingly told the staff, "Well, I'm going online right now and giving you guys a ONE-STAR review. Because, as the Jedi always say, there must be balance in the Force."
The staff behind the counter got a really good laugh out of that.
Unfortunately, that's when things took a turn.
The manager looked me dead in the eyes.
I looked at her.
She looked at me.
And then...
WE FOUGHT.
What started as a simple joke about a one-star review immediately escalated into what can only be described as the most epic battle Sully's on Ming has ever witnessed.
She unleashed her ancient Kung Fu powers.
I attempted to defend myself using the only martial-arts technique I knew: panic.
She hit me with a spinning back kick.
I countered with the legendary "I'm Just Here to Buy Something" maneuver.
She jumped over the counter.
I dove behind the bakery section.
Flour was flying.
Chairs were flipping.
Someone yelled, "NOT THE MUFFINS!"
At one point, I swear I saw the spirit of Bruce Lee appear in the reflection of the freezer door and quietly shake his head at both of us.
The battle raged on for what felt like seven seasons of an anime.
Eventually, bruised, exhausted, and questioning every decision that had led me to this moment, I managed to escape with my life.
But more importantly...
I STILL WROTE THE REVIEW.
And after everything I have been through, I have come to one undeniable conclusion:
Five stars.
Or maybe one star.
Honestly, I'm not sure.
The manager might have actually won.
P.S. In all seriousness, the store team has always treated me professionally and respectfully every time I come in, whether I'm dressed for the office or dressed like I randomly decided to go play basketball on a weekday. Great facility, great team, and the bathrooms are always very clean. I have nothing but good things to say about the staff and the store.
Five stars... a.k.a. maybe one star. She might've actually beat me up.