So my wife and I were staying at a really nice hotel nearby and decided to just take a walk on a nice October Sunday night, down the Strand, and, without making any reservations, see where we could stop in for dinner, other than the high-end SIMPSONS across the street. Came across SALIERI. There appeared to be a number of older people seated at tables, and the menu posted outside was Italian and appealing, so in we went. We were seated at a deuce in the back, by a pleasant young woman, but then no one came by for almost 15 minutes. We were just about to leave when we did get another young girl who proceeded to take our order. Heavily accented, she didn't seem to understand the concept that my wife wanted two starters, one to follow the other, instead of an entree. She finally got that down and took my order. She asked for drinks; we both wanted ginger ale; She didn't know what that was. We settled for water. Two glasses of water arrived, followed by our first starters ... delicious buratta with tomatoes... and a delightful, fresh, warmed asparagus salad with shaved parmesan. Our hopes were restored. Plates were then cleared and we waited... and waited... and finally my entree (ravioli) arrived, with another waitperson indicating my wife's bruschetta would be forthcoming. Waited about 20 minutes without commencing to eat...no bread BTW, no water refills, no one reappearing. Finally caught her eye, called her over and she said the bruschetta was coming. Another ten minutes with nothing. It's only bruschetta, we thought. What's so complicated? Finally found her and asked where the bruschetta was and she said the kitchen didn't understand that it was to be an entree. Went away and after another 10 minutes, we found her and asked her to take the ravioli away, cancel the bruschetta and just bring us two cups of coffee and a check. She said it was coming. I said so was Christmas. She cleared the table, brought the coffee and disappeared. 20 minutes later we tracked her down, again asked for a check. She then brought the check announcing, efficiently, that she had removed the bruschetta and the ravioli. No apology, no readjustment for the wait, no attempt to make amends. All this while, the owner seemed to constantly move across the restaurant, tending to other tables. We paid the bill and left; no one seemed apologetic or even noticed our departure. The owner didn't seem to be aware of us or, perhaps didn't want to deal with it. I certainly didn't want to deal with HIM, although I probably should have tried to catch him up as he bustled his way through the rest of the establishment. We should have followed our instincts when we first arrived because we noticed the decor was extremely weird, a true aesthetic mashup, with ceramic ersatz Italian and French Commedia dell' arte masks hanging all over like from outtakes of EYES WIDE SHUT -- frescoes painted on every surface, grotesque faces and figures depicting music, theater, and dance all over the leather booths, and a bizarre description of Salieri, the composer, on the menu cover, along with a Far Eastern goddess sporting a fat stomach, pendulant breasts and an Egyptian headdress and a crocodile on her back. I laughing thought, all this needed was a competitive restaurant across the way, named MOZART, to complete the picture of a failed culinary enterprise aspiring to greatness and failing miserably on all counts. Avoid SALIERI unless you have lots of time to spare (the two salads were quite good). A web description indicates it's a family-owned restaurant that's been there 40 years. In a wild Rod Serling TWILIGHT ZONE moment, I fantasized all the customers there had actually placed their orders in 1976, and were still being served one v-e-r-y slow meal. read more