According to yelp, Red Square falls into the categories of "bars" and "dance clubs." While it's true that Red Square has a couple of bars inside, I certainly wouldn't call it a dance club.
I'll save you the trip to Red Square by giving you a play-by-play of how your night will go:
If it's a weeknight, don't go. No one else does because it's that bad, so why should you? This isn't the kind of place that you would want as your local watering hole. On the other hand, if it's a weekend, go for it. You'll be greeted at the door by one of the biggest jabronis you've ever met. If you're a female, expect to be treated like a piece of meat as they compliment you in the most misogynistic way possible. If you're a male, the self-proclaimed "security" at the door will size you up like you're an out-of-towner in one of those old western saloons where the music stops when you walk in. Then they take your money. $5 cover. Not an unreasonable cover charge for a place that purports to offer a good time. Hopefully that money just goes to the live band.
Speaking of the live band, I have nothing but good things to say. The bands that I've seen in the few times that I've been here have been talented and professional. Too bad talent and professionalism don't rub off on the establishment itself.
For example, when ordering a drink, you might seek a bartender with some talent. Well you won't find it here. And I'm not talking about Tom Cruise in cocktail. All I can say is, if you want anything other than a bottled beer, steer clear. On a good night they might be able to pull off a vodka soda, but then again even a blind squirrel finds a nut from time to time.
In regards to professionalism, have you ever seen a charge on your credit card that doesn't match the receipt that you signed? Look no further than Red Square! That's right! And try going back and taking it up with the fine gentleman who calls himself the manager. He'll promptly tell you to go F yourself! Professionalism at its finest, keep it up Red Square!
Ok, now let's remember, this isn't just a bar, it's also a dance club. It's actually my favorite kind of dance club (cue the sarcasm). The dance floor seamlessly blends in with the people flanking the bar. In other words, there's no real dance floor or area. When you finally wiggle your way to a space where you can get a little bit loose, something goes wrong... your foot gets stuck to the floor! I know, I know, every club on the planet has the occasional spilled drink. But at least other places clean up at the end of the night! I'm not sure what kind of standard this place holds itself too for cleanliness, but it's got to be somewhere between wet hot garbage and steaming pile of sewage (see "manager" and "professionalism" above). The grotesque floor is, in a lot of ways, a metaphor for the bouncers or "security" as they call themselves.
The security (bouncers) at Red Square are absolute low-lifes. I don't doubt that their inability to perform a useful job function stems from the managers superb leadership skills, but sometimes it takes a little bit of moral compass to rise above the overall negative culture and these guys just don't have it. Remember, these were the thick-headed lugs that treated you like dirt when you walked in the door. If only you could turn back now. Since you're here, sit back and observe as they look longingly at the women and vindictively at the men. Now watch them go to work. Three of them will "break-up" a conversation between two friends because somehow laughter was confused for aggression. Not to be outdone, four others will drag out a guy who was dancing because "he's had too much." And God forbid if you'd like to leave on your own accord. As security clogs the exits and you offer a simple, "excuse me," you'll be lucky to get out the door without the police getting involved.
It's the 21st century and VT is a progressive state. Unfortunately, Red Square attempts to turn back the clock on progress or at least stand in its way. You can do better, Burlington. And I am hopeful that some day you will.
I wanted to give this place 5 stars, but I just couldn't bring myself to do it in light of everything I've seen. So 1 star it is. Good luck everybody. read more
