Steffens Diner has been on my radar for a while. Living in Callahan, Friday date nights with my…read morewife can be challenging when restaurant options are scarce and repetitive.
Opening Yelp, I check the list of saved restaurants, and my wife points out this place. I mean, 4.9 stars with 525 reviews, and the Google rating is 4.6 with 3450 contributions. One would think with all those stars, you'd be guaranteed a great experience. That, of course, may end the evening with "brown chicken, brown cow."
We arrive, and immediate retro-dinner vibes set in. As we walk past the back door into the kitchen, we see two small, well-used smokers. My first thought was, "Whatever gets the job done." I know I have turned out many great cuts of meat from mine. Next, I notice an older woman struggling to smoke a cigarette, hacking away; it was a clear sign she should quit.
We walk into the restaurant, and the retro vibe continues, from the old diner seats and tables to the music playing from the ceiling speakers. Being a car guy, I liked the row of model cars above the bar, but they could use a feather duster or a Swiffer. One word of caution: if you are heading to the restrooms, be aware of the sudden change in floor elevation; there is no warning, and a trip-and-fall is possible.
The first waitress comes over after we're seated; she looks like she had a rough day, judging by the leftover food on her black shirt. At least the table was clean and well-designed.
Turning to the reviews, the highlighted items are fried chicken, country fried steak, and a few others. The menu offers some unexpected options, like crab-stuffed cod and beef bourguignon, demonstrating nice variety.
We started by asking what their top-selling items were; they mentioned fried chicken and country-fried steak. Feeling adventurous, I chose the beef bourguignon, and my wife went with the crab-stuffed cod. We began with jalapeño poppers, which looked great when they arrived. Ignoring the caution, I took the first bite and immediately realized how hot they were, temperature-wise, as the filling blistered my mouth. The flavors were good, and the fresh jalapeño peppers were crunchy rather than soft. If this were an indication of how the rest of the meal is going to go, the "made fresh every day" motto displayed would be a treat. Well, except for setting caution aside for the hot items.
Our dishes arrived, and the presentation was decent. My wife's dish looked good, but my beef bourguignon seemed very old and overdone. We said grace and started eating; well, so much for that "it's made fresh every day" motto. If mine were made fresh, the chef would likely have killed it twice. The chew of the first bite was so dry and long that it could have made Wrigley's gum proud. It took me back to my high school days when Hubba Bubba bubble gum first appeared. (Yes, I am that old.) I tried to push through it, hoping for a moist bite and those seasonal flavor notes; alas, they never came. The flavor profile was missing Rosemary and bold red-wine notes. Julia Child would be rolling over in her grave. I grabbed a piece of the cornbread that came with our selection to dip into Aujour. Well, you would have to question whether anyone tastes the items before serving them? A box of Jiffy Cornbread mix has more moisture and texture. It was something with the biscuits. There was still flour on the putter surface of the biscuits.
Our server came by to check on us, and we didn't hold back our disappointment. She went to the kitchen, apparently took a piece, and confirmed it wasn't good. She then said she would comp the meal and offered to replace it with anything I wanted. Just then, my wife reacted after her second bite of the crab-stuffed codfish. It turns out she had a piece of crab shell lodged between her gums and a tooth, which was very painful--way worse than biting into a popcorn shell. Once it was removed, she managed to get a few more bites in before CRUNCH!!--another shell. By this point, the experience had fallen short of what we had seen in the reviews. The server returned and asked if we were interested in dessert. We agreed on a slice of Limoncello cake. When it arrived, it looked amazing again, but the first bite told the story. This was supposed to be Limoncello, and it was clear that the lemon had left the chat... I was thankful for the extra lemon I ordered for my sweet tea; once a squeeze of lemon juice was added, the chat was revived.
Before completely passing judgment, we would like to experience breakfast. As much as the reviews raved about the menu items, I'll keep my opinion until then
