Easy to see why the reviews here are all over the board…read more
This place is part hot mess, part disorganization--I'm being kind, and part dismay--wondering how it is they are still in business. Come at your own risk. And after saying that, I'll likely return, but bear with me.
Tuesday: tried calling to make sure they were open as their hours were advertised as 11:00 a.m. to 11:30 p.m. every day of the week. Couldn't get an answer on a Tuesday so thought maybe just busy, took the subway down and walked the nearly mile one way, arriving at 4:30 p.m. Locked, not open. I call several times, finally get an answer: "we open at 6:00 p.m." Nope, not waiting around so away I go. Next day, Wednesday, around 5:00 p.m. start calling, get busy signals continuously, no answer. Arrive at 6:00 p.m., not open. Busy signals continue. Wait until 6:30 p.m., still closed, decided to go for a walk around the block and if they aren't open when I return I'm done. Return at 6:40 p.m., the door is open. WTF?
Guy at the desk is 1st grade English level at best, but nice. Tries to explain what's available. Main hot sauna is out of order (turns out being totally rebuilt and looked quite nice). Other hot sauna out of order as well. Steam room working, he says "not very warm," which is correct. It's a freaking lung choking oven that when at full blast you can see about a foot. I sit near the door. Only three other people in the entire building I can see and two are in the pool, someone giving a swimming lesson to a kid and mister Eastern European. I keel over and I'm dead in 60 seconds. Obviously, this written just before that occurred. Kidding. I go in and out spending maybe 30-40 minutes in there. That purged the Burmese, Malaysian, Tibetan, Bangladeshi food downed earlier in the day.
The "cold" pool mentioned by others was lukewarm. The hot whirpool just a little warmer than lukewarm, the main pool about what I'd expect.
And alas, no one on staff to deliver the famed banya beating with branches. The story I came to experience will wait until another time.
This place is frozen in time, say 1960. I saw no food being served but some that was left over on a dining table apparently from the day before or earlier. More of the hot mess.
Finally, I chat with the guy running the place and he concedes things are in disarray, apologizes, says only pay what I wish. I gave him $20 for what was to be a $35 fee.
And yes after all that, I'm sort of intrigued. If and when things hit all cylinders here, and a friend said they do, I can see it being pretty cool. Otherwise it operates about like I'd think a lot of things operate in Eastern Europe. One thing for sure, had there been vodka around after this experience, I'd have been into it. I'm not someone that likes vodka, but this experience made me want to do shots like a bunch of Russians doing the best to pickle their livers.
To be continued. Maybe.
If you come: I'd suggest bring cash only. Call ahead. They don't tell you they're open, don't show up. Looking for an upscale Hilton spa? This, most assuredly, is not it.