Sometimes in a marriage you just have rough weeks. Despite your best intentions, it's just going to happen sometimes. It's how you deal with these situations that matters, right?
So last week, the lady and I had a bit of a turbulent week. No worries, just have to make it better right?
Friday morning, I awake and after a pleasant morn, she departs for work. I think to myself that it's been far too long since I surprised her with flowers at work, so today's the day! Strike while the irons hot and all, right?
Having purchased flowers a time or two from Owens and being reasonably pleased by them even if they were nothing remarkable, it seemed time to give them a shot with the delivery thing. Support the small guy, right?
So I hit up The Google and am pleased to discover Owen's fine website displaying their many pre-arranged wares, all with three levels of options, cheap weenie flowers, decent average flowers, and holy shit, what trangression did you commit flowers. Being a budget romantic, but not a cheapskate(hey, this IS my hottie of a wife, right?) I opt for the medium size, more than three flowers in a vase, but not 8 dozen roses either.
Quick sweet message, work address, card information, good to go. Order placed around 8:15 in the morn, easy and simple, right?
So imagine my surprise when The Female calls around 9 and I think to myself, "Damn, Owen's is QUICK!". Alas, just a check-in, no flowers. 10:30 e-mail to check evening plans, still no flowers. Lunch phone call, no flowers. 2 o'clock txt, no flowers.
Now, at this point it's probably best that I inform you that Owens is located a full FOUR blocks away from my madam's place of employment. These aren't New York city blocks either, we're talking Lawrence, KS blocks.
Around 3 o'clock, I remember that my broad is leaving work @ 4 to get to an appointment. Still no word on the flowers, panic sets in.
Call Owens, where I'm told the flowers are "on the van". Placed on hold while they try to contact their delivery driver. He's out having a smoke, or eating candy corn or whatever it is delivery drivers do instead of doing their job, and is thus un-reachable. Assured they'll be there in 15 minutes or so. No thrilled, but fine.
Thus begins trying to compose a txt that sounds like a plausible reason for the dame to stay at work another 15 minutes, but doesn't blow the surprise. Oh the tribulations of a honest, deceitful husband....
20 minutes pass, still no word. Beloved about to leave work any minute, I call Owens again. Rest assured, the candy corn evidently had run out as they're able to get ahold of their driver, who informs us that he's on his way there next, having just left EUDORA.
I'm El Pissed and start to think in terms of refunds to be had, while Owens attempt to make things right consists of "Oh, it's a newer delivery driver, we don't really use him all that much." Not my problem, I foolishly assume you'd hire a person capable of basic route planning, driving skills, phone answering skills, you know, the really hard stuff that requires 6 years of college and advanced training in a German occupational school.
Next step at their remediation skills, "Well, you didn't put on the order that it needed to be delivered by a certain time." You mean, the order I foolishly placed online, where there wasn't ANYWHERE TO PUT SUCH AN INSTRUCTION?!?!?!
Third step of their remediation skills, "Well, if she has to leave before they get there, is there anywhere else you'd like the flowers delivered?"
Yes, yes there is. Problem is, I don't it'd be anatomically comfortable or easily feasible for Owens to achieve.
I resign myself to my evident fate and tell them I'll pick up the flowers before they close, planning on the very least to demand a refund of the delivery fee.
So the flowers arrive, right as my wife is walking out the door. Yay, surprised wife, how romantic right? Oh the joy she experienced getting to show them off all day to her co-workers. Oh the glee she felt, being handed flowers as she was walking out the door to a doctor's appointment. How struck she was by the gesture of love.
Except she was, because she is my wife and is just awesome like that.
Anyway, long tale of woe later, if you want quality flowers delivered in a timely fashion, I'd highly recommend using Owens, as long as you are comfortable hacking web forms, order more than 7 hours in advance for same-day service, and are located no farther away from them than next door. read more