My car broke down last night on the stretch of Highway 12 heading into Sebastopol that narrows down into two lanes. And I'm here to tell you, don't waste your time calling Geico Roadside Assistance, or AAA, first. Call your local tow company first! Then, have Geico or AAA call them to cover the bill (assuming they're contracted). I'm convinced that the reason why tow trucks notoriously take so long is because they're dispatched by roadside assistance and not by the person who actually needs them.
After freezing in panic, I call in. First they want me to use an app to report this shit. Nah. I'm talking to a live human. I do, and they said I'd get a dispatch text asap.
30 minutes in~ I'm eagerly waiting off the side of the highway, still waiting for that text. My phone is at 10%, but thank God I travel with my charger. I'm connecting with friends, scrolling insta, etc. Nada. I call back.
45 minutes in~ "They're still working on it". My car battery starts dying, and my lights flicker and dim. My flashers continue to blink, but they're barely noticeable. My car is beeping sounds of death and showing me all these error messages. I'm stranded on the side of the highway, with flashers the brightness of only a candle and no interior lighting. I start shivering. I go into survival mode, wanting to preserve resources. I always keep one of my cozy Shamanic ponchos in my backseat. I put that on, turn inward, breathe. Had a moment. Glimmers of Shipibo ceremony came through. Cars and trucks are whizzing by my invisible car, and I start fearing for my physical safety. I'm working on regulating my breath.
1 hour in~ The Geico agent called back and said she couldn't find a driver and that it would be 4 hours. Dude. No, no, NO. I'm in the pitch dark at this point. I begged her to keep trying, try Petaluma... Cotati... hell, Novato/San Rafael... Marin. There's gotta be someone within an hour radius of me. I'm not sitting here for 4 hours on the dark highway with no lights, and I'm not leaving my car. She seems really put out by me... and I get the sense that she's probably working from home smoking a blunt. So I get off the phone with her frustrated AF, and I just call Occidental Towing myself. And guess what, they have a driver who's already in Sebastopol, and he shows up within 5 MINUTES. WTF GEICO. I call them back, livid, letting them know that I have it covered since I took it upon myself to take care of it since they couldn't do their job. I'm happy to give them the bill though. How is this possible?!... I'm still pissed a day later writing this.
So Eben Altier, my hero, shows up and is such a sweetheart! Instant bestie. Getting me home and backing down my narrow farm property in the dark with overgrown trees was a whole other adventure itself. I only started crying when I filled out the paperwork at the end. Why then and not on the highway?... because it was over. #damselindistress
This AM, having learned my lesson, I set up a tow from my home to the shop first, THEN called Geico... they say they only reimburse one tow per breakdown and that they can't cover my tow to the shop for this one. I proceed to TURN INTO A KAREN. Oh hell f*****' no. I fought it, got the name of the blunt-smokin' agent from last night, and got them to cover the bill again.
I WILL be writing a scathing review for Geico, but I will not mention her name here because I don't agree with public slander.
I then visit my landlady on the farm first thing in the morning and tell her that we might want to prune our overhanging trees in the driveway, LOL. #karen
So Mark, my other new tow truck bestie brought me to the shop this morning... he's great. I love these guys! They're smart, honest, and hardworking gentlemen. I have so much respect for these blue collar men. THIS is where it's at, humanity. In my opinion, these people are way more intelligent than any corporate executive. When the sh** hits the fan, these are the people we want to be friends with. Not the help desk of corporate America.
I'll spare you the rest of the grueling details of my journey, but I'm wanting to convey an important message here for the people I care about. Companies do not have our back. Corporations do not have our back. COMMUNITY. Communing heart to heart with our everyday working class citizens, THAT'S the gold. Occidental Towing, Eben, Mark... you have my heart. Geico, you can f*** off. I much rather foot the bill of any tow than ever deal with them directly again. But now I know the way... you can't count on them to give them what you need, but you can certainly get them to pay for it.
And lastly, I'll just say, BEING A KAREN PAYS OFF. Advocating for yourself, pays off. This is freedom.
And to all the angels who have assisted me along my life's path of struggle, thank you. I'm indebted to the humans who still have their Souls intact. You make the world worth living in. read more