I'm currently standing in a Little Caesars waiting 20 minutes for a 'Hot-N-Ready.' Calling yourself Hot-N-Ready when you have zero pizzas ready is basically false advertising. It's like a library with no books, or a gym that only sells cigarettes. You had one job, Caesar.
They told me it's a 15-minute wait for the cheesebread. A wait? For what? Are they waiting for the cardboard to marinate? Are they hand-milking the cow for this specific batch of 'cheese product'? I'm not asking for a wood-fired Neapolitan masterpiece; I'm asking for a salty sponge that costs less than my Chapstick.
I now understand why Brutus did what he did. I've been waiting so long for this 'Hot-N-Ready' that the Roman Empire has literally risen and fallen twice in the lobby. At this point, the pizza won't be 'Hot-N-Ready,' it'll be 'Lukewarm-N-Regrettable.
Waiting at Little Caesars is the ultimate humbling experience. I already lowered my standards to 'pizza that tastes like a shipping container' just so I could be in and out in 30 seconds, and they still managed to fail me. I'm essentially being stood up by the bottom of the food chain. read more