First, let me preface this by saying that this review is not meant as an indictment against the shop as a whole, but rather an account of my disappointing negative experience with Iris herself in a bra fitting on May 2, 2014. Previously, I was fitted by Ria and walked away satisfied with 3 very nice bras. I am writing this mostly as a cautionary tale for other girls like me.
The fitting started off well enough. I went into the dressing room and she started handing me bras to try on. She then handed me some Elomi Ritas in various colors, which did not fit me well as I was overflowing the cups. Normally, this is just part of the process, but then she started telling me "you need to lose weight," and that's when things started to go downhill.
Naturally, I was a bit taken aback by such a rude comment, but I brushed it off as maybe a joke or she was just being a bit insensitive accidentally.
So, she started giving me other bras to try on, and all the while, she kept on this "you need to lose weight" track. She even brought out the bra I eventually ended up getting, and she said she would give me an extender for free as a motivation to lose weight (because she assumed I was too big to hook it myself, although I was able to).
So, at this point I was beginning to feel pretty uncomfortable and couldn't really laugh it off anymore. Yet still, for some reason, she persisted in this weight loss conversation. She asked me how I was going to lose weight, and told me that her doctor said she needed to get healthy because her cholesterol was high or something. I guess that was a subtle attempt at concern trolling me, as if to imply that I should lose weight because she is worried about my health.
This is when I really felt she started to cross the line. I told her how my BF and I had met (online), and she proceeded to tell me that our relationship was invalid and that he wasn't really my BF, just some internet guy. She also proceeded to say that "skinny girls" probably flirt with my BF, I assume to once again "motivate" me to lose weight to compete with them, and she implied that I might lose him or he might give me an ultimatum if I don't lose weight. She even seemed to imply that I would have nothing to live for if my BF left me.
So this condescension continued for a little while longer, and I am still literally losing sleep over not storming out right then and there, until the topic turned on to diet. I had told her that my BF was vegan, and so now Iris and her assistant told me that I should consider being vegan. She also said that I should stop drinking soda (which I don't drink often, as if it is anyone's business) and replace it with seltzer water and a piece of fruit.
I don't need to tell anyone that diet and dieting is already a touchy subject, even if one is not fat, so it is baffling that anyone would think it would be appropriate to tell a stranger that they need to stop eating foods that they assume the person is eating. If I didn't know any better, I would have thought I was in a Weight Watchers store, but then again, I doubt Weight Watchers is this insensitive and condescending to their customers.
Now things subtly shifted to my socio-economic status, with equally disappointing results. She began by suggesting that I get a personal trainer or go on Weight Watchers, all without me ever indicating my intention to lose weight or requesting help in doing so. I told her that I was currently unemployed and that I couldn't afford those things, and then she questioned how I could buy a bra then. I let her know that my BF (which she apparently didn't approve of, as if she was my mother) got his tax return and gave me some money to buy a bra as a gift. It was then that she suggested that I go on Welfare, Disability...or get a job at McDonald's. I couldn't believe it. I don't know if it was the way I was dressed or what, that made her assume I was uneducated or unskilled, but apparently that's what she did.
Whatever the case was, and whatever my reaction was, how I was treated by Iris that day wasn't right. I don't know why she decided to treat me that way, whether my race (hispanic), socio-economic status (not well off), or weight, and I don't know if she has treated any other customers like that, but I was made to feel like not only a second class citizen, but as if Iris was offended or even disgusted by me patronizing her shop.
In any case, the treatment I received was not only inappropriate, it was clearly discriminatory, fat shaming, concern trolling, and borderline verbal harassment. Unfortunately, at this point, I feel that any sense of intimacy or openness that existed before has been totally betrayed by this experience. I was made to feel so uncomfortable and ashamed that, even if an apology was offered, I regret I will not ever be able to return to the shop.
I'm not even angry about it. I'm just sad and disappointed. I hope no one else has an experience like I did. read more