Sunday brunch at the Hot House Cafe, complete with live jazz, is akin to Special Turkey Dinner Night at my 86-year-old grandmother's all-Hungarian people old folks' building. But without the 100% Hungarian requirement.
I don't get it.
On the one hand, I've been for dinner, and I know the menu is....meh.....so why should I be surprised that the brunch is lesser even, then "meh"?
Perhaps because it's often touted as one of the best brunches in the city, which is both appalling and embarrassing. It's basically "The Mandarin" but with breakfast foods. It's such an odd, weird mish-mash of cuisine, not unlike the meal of various coloured foams in the movie "Hook". 5 points if you recall what it is I speak of. To where the points apply, I have no idea. But if you're competitive with yourself, go for it.
Anyway, they had a mimosa special, 2 for $9. That's decent. Even more decent if, after ordering the mimosas, they show up.
I headed for the buffet. And let me add this; I was an overweight child and young adult. I KNOW how to buffet. There's a line of code in my DNA dedicated to strategic buffet planning, implementation and execution of buffet strategy, etc. You head for the "good" stuff to get your moneys' worth- whatever the gigantic meat offering is, the cheese and the dessert. All the rest is filler which you reserve for plates 2 and 3, respectively.
At $19.95 per head, I find the buffet's offerings slim and strange. The first offerings are a table of breads; muffins, croissants, bagels, etc. And then dessert immediately follows that table. Why? Why oh why? Dessert comes last. Or sometimes it's plate #3 (on a dinner sized plate, not those shitty dessert sized plates) and then you follow up it with some carbs. I like to use the dessert shift as a palette cleanser, of sorts.
There is no salad bar, but rather some potato-type salad, some quinoa-type salad and a bunch of other weird non-salad salads. Then a gigantic salmon. Then the weirdest selection of hot foods; meat, mussels, cheese cappelletti, tofu stir-fry, some kind of chicken legs....are you getting weirded out yet? And then all the traditional breakfast offerings; scrambled eggs, bacon, sausage and smashed potatoes (another interesting choice) and a custom omelette bar.
Basically, the Hot House buffet seems to strive to cater to too many a person. It's like they had too many ideas and got over-excited, like when Homer decided to build a website and ended up having every kitschy, tacky chotchka on it (Dancing Jesus, Y2K Countdown, you name it).
I think the buffet needs some serious revising. Oh, and more staff, always helpful.
Sorry Hot House, I love a good buffet, but this one misses the mark.
The decent things- you CAN make a reservation, even for the coveted Sunday brunch, they replenish everything on the buffet frequently, you might rope yourself a slick old Dude for your new BF. read more