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Hartzdale Restaurant

4.0 (1 review)
Closed 7:30 am - 9:00 pm
Updated 3 months ago

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3 months ago

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Hookers Seafood Joint - Garlic Garlic Butter Crab AND Shrimp Fries

Hookers Seafood Joint

4.3(28 reviews)
3.6 mi

I first discovered Hookers Seafood Joint thanks to social media doing what it does best --…read moreaggressively showing me videos of garlic butter crab and shrimp fries until resistance became pointless. One look and it immediately earned a spot on my "we're going here soon whether the universe likes it or not" list. Friday Night Date Night doesn't usually send me into the city. After a long week of people-ing, I typically lean toward easier parking and fewer humans. But this Friday? I was willing to tolerate civilization just a little longer for seafood that looked that good. We rolled in around 5pm and somehow scored a street parking spot just a few doors down -- AND it was free after 5pm. At that point I assumed the night was blessed. Walking inside was...an experience. The space was pretty dark, with most of the lighting focused near the kiosk ordering stations at the back. A few empty tables, music playing overhead, and honestly -- it felt a little chilly inside for a February evening. But we didn't come for ambiance. We came for garlic butter seafood chaos, and we were committed. Ordering is done through self-service kiosks. We selected dine-in and ordered the garlic butter crab and shrimp fries ($13.99), the crab cake, shrimp, and cheesy grits ($27.49), and two Diet Pepsis ($1.25 each). Total came to about $55 with tip -- very reasonable considering what we were about to experience. While we waited, a few people came in for pickups and one very busy staff member (hoodie included) was hustling back and forth like a one-person operation keeping everything moving. A little while later, our food arrived -- already packed in to-go containers, which honestly felt like a thoughtful move because leftovers were inevitable. And then we opened the containers. And then...we fell in love. Garlic Butter Crab AND Shrimp Fries: Absolute insanity in the best possible way. Piled high with shrimp and crab -- and I mean no skimping whatsoever. Garlic butter sauce everywhere, perfectly crispy seasoned fries underneath, and rich, savory flavor that made it impossible to slow down. This is the kind of dish you think about later while staring into the void. Crab Cake, Shrimp, and Cheesy Grits: I am not a grits person...or at least I wasn't before this moment. These creamy Gouda cheesy grits have officially converted me. Smooth, savory, and ridiculously good. The crab cake was golden perfection with minimal filler, the shrimp were huge and perfectly seasoned, and the Cajun cream sauce tied everything together into what might be one of the best dishes I've had in months. Possibly longer. I'm still thinking about it. We ate until logic intervened and still left with about a third of the food for round two -- which I'm already excited about. Hookers might be easy to overlook if you're just passing by, but do yourself a favor and make it a destination. If you love seafood, this is easily one of the most underrated spots around. Big flavor, generous portions, fair pricing -- no over-the-top "trying too hard" seafood theatrics required. I showed up curious, left full, and now find myself emotionally attached to cheesy grits. That feels like a successful night.

My reviews are different. I do not announce myself or tell anyone; I am here to do a review!! I was…read moreout mid-afternoon on another beautiful ride here in Central Pennsylvania. The day before, I stopped at the same place to get some delicious fish, but that night I wasn't able to "swim with the fishes," so I came back the second day--and that was the best "swimming in the ocean" I ever did. I indulged in some delicious, cheesy, savory grits along with some delicious shrimp, fried to perfection with a golden, crispy brown outer layer drizzled with seasoning (but not too much). I also had some delicious flounder; now, this fish wasn't any less than the shrimp. The fish was one of the best pieces of fish I've ever had. I know a lot of fish--all the fish in the sea know me, and I know the fish. I must say the establishment is pretty inviting; however, myself being a cleaner, I know that it can definitely use a good cleaning. I did use the bathroom, and well, that was before I had my food and not after, which means it's good, and also the kitchen is clean. I enjoy this place because you do not have to deal with a waiter when it comes to ordering your food. All you have to do is just order at a kiosk, which makes it more convenient. They also sell smoothies, which are very nice as well. I do recommend this place for "to-go" food. To dine in would be okay, but would not be ideal only because it does need a good touch-up; however, the food is always consistent. If you have any questions, there are staff on site. I hope my review helps you make your decision on choosing to visit this location. My Ratings: * Food: 5/5 * Establishment: 2.5/5 * Convenience: 5/5

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Hookers Seafood Joint
Hookers Seafood Joint - Crab Cake, Shrimp, and Cheesy Grits

Crab Cake, Shrimp, and Cheesy Grits

Hookers Seafood Joint - Front counter

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Kepler's Seafood

Kepler's Seafood

3.7(9 reviews)
1.8 mi

Great team and super fresh fish ... we are lucky to have them !…read more They always have a good selection and prices are right

"If you're going to stand there and talk, can you move away from the counter so customers can get…read morethrough?" These were the words of the old, bald, mustachioed man behind the Kepler's Seafood counter in the West Shore Farmer's Market. It took me off guard, and my first inclination was to apologize, which I did, as I obviously felt like a heel for blocking customers' access to his business' counter. But then something dawned on me: there were no customers! What's more, the counter space is a good 30 feet long. The amount of space I was blocking was 2 feet at best. But let me take a step back... My girlfriend, daughter and I approached the Kepler's Seafood counter to purchase some calamari and shrimp. I noticed, however, that the calamari bin was empty, so I asked one of the employees if they had any more? "No." Huh. It was one thing for them to be out of the product, but here's a business savvy thought, Kepler's: apologize for being sold out and, I don't know, maybe suggest something else?! She did neither of the two. Nonetheless, we continued to look for another product to purchase when I felt a tap on my shoulder. My pal and his girlfriend stood before us and we chatted for a few minutes. And then, in the middle of our conversation, we heard the following: "If you're going to stand there and talk, can you move away from the counter so customers can get through?" As I mentioned above, THERE WERE NO OTHER CUSTOMERS AT THE COUNTER! No other customers BUT US, that is. Again, we had already inquired about the calamari (which, again, they were out of) and clearly intended to buy something else, meaning, at that time, we were not only customers of Kepler's but ACTIVE customers. My friends took their leave and we placed an order with one of the younger female employees: scallops (which were tasteless, by the way) and shrimp. I paid for my order, at which time my girlfriend said to the employee, "You should tell that guy that the way he spoke to us was incredibly rude." Now, most businesses would apologize and make an excuse to appease us, and then talk shit about us after we'd left, which is fine. I'm okay with that. This female employee (with the brown hair pulled back into a ponytail, if you're looking for her) proceeded to argue with my girlfriend. "He's the owner," she said, "and we pay a lot for this space." Keep in mind, we were standing in a public market in front of a business to whom we'd just given money!!! "As the owner he should no better to talk to people that way," replied my girlfriend. "You didn't even have any customers." The female employee made another combative comment to which my girlfriend responded, "Well, you won't have us as customers any longer," to which we took our leave. As we walked away, the employee said something the lines of, "That's fine! We have plenty of other customers." With an attitude and this sort of piss-poor customer service, not for long, as I'm all too happy to tell the world about their downright awful attitude, lack of professionalism (in front of my daughter, no less) and flavorless scallops. I'd been a customer of Kepler's for years; that's over now. Enjoy your extra counter space.

Hartzdale Restaurant - salad - Updated May 2026

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