Let's tackle the 1000 pound gorilla in the room first - this review is taking into account that this is American-Mexican fusion cuisine. I'm not looking for authentic flavors or authentic and fresh ingredients.
First off - our waitress was excellent. She was very pleasant and very friendly. She'd get five stars. The drinks were fine.
But if you want food?
We ordered two plates of tacos. Al Pastor and Grilled Tilapia. My wife and I do not send food back - if we wanted food cooked a particular way, we'd do it ourselves. We order and we assume that this is the best your restaurant has to offer.
This has no correlation with the score - but the tacos were huge. I saw reviews complain there were only two tacos. You could spread the contents across three tacos and they'd seem generously filled - and would be easier to eat. I would also get a greater sense of value and it'd cost pennies to execute.
This rating is based on the taste of food and the taste alone.
"But Mexican-American ~fusion~" I can hear you say - The next few paragraphs will lack the words: "spice" "chilies" "authentic" "cilantro".
We were warned that the Al Pastor tacos would be spicy. (doesn't count as spice!) My wife and I joke about Wheaton-spice levels - With water being a 3/10 and Big Red gum being a 11/10. I lived in Wheaton back when the Wheaton Cafe served grilled fruit with every entree and booze was still a sin. There are as many burger items as there are burritos. We know and dine with plenty of folks whose spice tolerance is, "Black pepper is spicy".
Our expectations were set accordingly.
The menu also reigns in expectations - it is clearly marked as fusion food.
Our grilled tilapia? Lacked any seasoning. But also, lacked grilled. They came out sopping wet. We've had a very dry May this year - after all that water from this dish evaporated, it looks like we're in for a few days of much needed rain. You're welcome.
There was no color on the fish - the only direct heat this saw was the sun shining down on it as it was brought out to us. Perhaps someone swapped the grill for a microwave and no one in the kitchen noticed. Someone else's review had a picture of their grilled tilapia and it looks grilled (or at least pan seered) - so they have the capability of doing this and elected not to.
"I'm somewhat of a cook myself."
I get it, only weirdos order fish. Bust that stuff out of the freezer, run it under cold water to thaw it out, and cook it. I've done it numerous times. Yet I manage to get a nice golden brown crust, flaky moist flesh, and have it seasoned well on both gas grill and on carbon steel on a range. I have a feeling this was pulled out of a freezer in a plastic bag, thrown (bag and all) in a pot of boiling water, then slapped on a tortilla, had some cabbage and guac thrown on top, and served as is. The tilapia tasted like fish and I never thought, "I'm going to die" while eating it. Ten points to Hufflepuff.
But again, "only weirdos order fish". Perhaps this is intended for the heart-healthy folks. If this saw any direct heat, I would have assumed this was served as intended and been fine with it. This was edible, the Al Pastor tacos were not.
Our Al Pastor tacos were a nice red color. They looked angry red - but tasted like meat that had been boiled for hours. Boiled dish washing sponges cut into little pieces bland.
There was no salt. No pepper. If you cut out the spicy chilies images on the menu, meant to designate this as a spicy dish, and added them to the vat of meat, it would have increased the flavor a hundred fold. (I lied about not using the word chilies.) Boiled meat isn't actually a good description of what we got - boiled meat forms a stock. This was boiled meat where the water was constantly cycled out with cabbage and canned pineapple thrown on top. If there were onions, cilantro, and arbol chili salsa on here it was overpowered by the flavor of canned pineapple. (Lied again. But cilantro is listed on the menu.)
Did they run out of salt? Maybe it all fell into the corn - the Danada Equestrian center called - they ran out of salt licks and were wondering if they could get some of this corn. The most annoying part - combining the bland meat and the salty corn into one bite just gave you the feeling of a mouthful of salt and sponges.
Maybe the kitchen crew had covid. Maybe no one's tasting what's being served. Perhaps, the cooks are forced to follow recipes to a T and this is what's served on a regular basis. Maybe the size of the kitchen doesn't allow staffing to ramp up with the handful of additional tables in the outdoor tent, overwhelming the kitchen staff.
The only thing I'm certain of is whoever oversees the final food product being delivered to customers checked out or even worse, didn't care.
Maude Flanders would have been disappointed with how bland the food was.
A solid - "At least I didn't get food poisoning out of five" read more