We all have very high hopes and strong feelings about these types of places. Sadly, we also have…read moreto wrestle with our "guilt" that we are choosing to put a family member in one. I want to address both items. First, let me say that I have the utmost respect for people in this field of work. They have saved me a lot of grief over the years. My rating is based on the totality of the care and operations I have experienced with my elderly aunt who has been at Brookdale in Tracy for 6 years. She is still there and I am thankful. I vetted 7 facilities before deciding on this one. I chose it for location, cost, services, staff, and step care availability to dementia care. A special thank you to Christina, Lisette, Priya, Jamie, Marites, Chinny, and the front desk and housekeeping staff. Without you to deal with my aunt, I would be miserable. I thank you with all my heart, and I commend you on your patience with residents and family members alike!
A few things I have learned: You must be prepared to understand this business and all of its good and challenging sides. There are varying levels of competence in every establishment. The behavior of each resident and family member and how they interact with the staff, caregivers, and each other is really out of your control, and even paying the closest of attention to every detail will not change the crazy stuff that happens in these "elder care" centers. These are like a geriatric fraternity or sorority houses. You can put your expectations out there very explicitly, and you can watch and participate. But these are human beings, so do not expect appropriate behavior from everyone all the time. You are going to get a microcosm of the human race in any of these places, so be ready. Ask yourself if your family member would be better off living with you. Most of us could not tolerate the challenges faced by these staff in facilities who care for our family members. In fact, their very existence is based on our own inability or unwillingness. I have no guilt about keeping my aunt in this facility.
This facility is good; the staff truly cares about their role in the life of your loved one. They are attentive, responsible, trustworthy, and helpful. And you will pay for that care. But please know, they also have their human limits. They are dealing with dozens of our elderly relatives who have behavior problems. If we could handle having these elderly relatives (just one!) in our own homes, the by all means we should. But no one should be judged for making a decision for their life to place a relative in a facility if they cannot handle an elderly relative that might have dementia, other mental illness, hoarding, lack of hygiene, financial irresponsibility, etc. I wonder how it would look if every person in the world could receive a Yelp review for how they cared for their family members. I would not want that kind of scrutiny determining my fate. In 6 years, I have seen the staff completely turn over a few times, with a temporary revolving door of Executive Directors. The food has improved. The bill has doubled in 6 years. That's the world we live in.
If you are going to consider assisted living for your relative, open up your eyes to the good aspects of this option, and do your research. Be careful not to expect perfection, it is nonexistent.