You could call this my Dashboard Confessional.
But I know other people who do this, so I am... vindicated!
I am seeing in me now the things you swore you saw yourself.
So, driving with pizza on the dash.
You could end up dropping the slice and dashing all your dreams. Or get a dash of tomato sauce on your clothes. Who knows.
Not something that I recommend doing, but something that I end up doing all the time, and often end up regretting. Because it does have the tendency to go flying in One Direction (hi Niall Horan!) or another.
If I'm lucky it might land on my lap the right way up. Then it's just a grease stain or two. If I'm not lucky I might totally mess up the rental car upholstery, stain my clothes, slice upside down on the floor or even go right out the window.
Nobody is better at keeping stuff on the dashboard while driving with it but nevertheless this is not the best place to put it. Take the time and put it somewhere that it belongs. And again if you decide to do this anyway then I would say that it makes for a great photo op.
You can actually steer on the road in a way that makes the pizza slide the way you want it to. It's pretty cool. Until you hit a lamppost.
It's all fun and games until you hit a lamppost.
What do you mean that wasn't a lamppost.
Did anyone ever consider that a hit-and-run is sort of like a hit-it-and-quit-it but more violent and less sexy?
It's not so much that you could get into a car crash because who really cares about the car but IT'S THAT YOU COULD LOSE YOUR F**KING PIZZA. Can you imagine your pizza ends up face down on the floor. I mean face up is no problem just eat the f**ker anyway but face down and you get a lot of hair and dirt all over the cheese and tomato and whatever and that's just not going to work out. I mean I've made it work out but it still diminishes the yumzlyness.
So I strongly recommend you don't do this driving with Pizza on the dash crap. However I've done it so many times that I can't really give it a low rating because I'm ridiculously good at it. I've had quite a few unfortunate incidents because of my habit of doing this but the unfortunate incidents are usually to do with clothes and food and never to do with running people over or smashing a car up thankfully.
He says while writing this review while mowing people down in Park Slope.
That slope could really f*** with my slice though. It might slide right out the window. Someone call Calvin Harris. read more