[Hello Marriott Courtyard Scranton Montage Mountain - you can call me to discuss reconciling these concerns, here I'll even make it easy for you to call me (area code five eight five, 233 7134).]
As you pull in and drive around looking for the entrance amongst the overgrown brush and weeds, I encourage you to take in all of the unkempt ambiance like; plenty of lush green vegetation with a scattering of moldy chair cushions, sidewalks clad with beautiful tree branches that will hit you in the face, an ornate design of stained cracked and falling apart stucco, flies feasting on left over chicken nuggets overflowing from the trash can, a random 4" pvc pipe laying across the sidewalk adjacent to the pile of dead tree branches, a butt can full of pine needles, black water, and floating cigarette butts. But absolute favorite was the dumpster enclosure (ignorance to this level of neglect should have some sort of prestigious award)!
Grossness warning... you whats really awesome about this pool??!! No it's not the black growth/funk that's growing in and around the perimeter drain, no it's not the coffee cup that looks like it's been sitting on the table for weeks, no it's not the lack of pool towels in the towel bin. It's the accumulation of %@&! floating around in the pool! My best guess is that someone who had a really bad sunburn was in the pool and pieces of dead skin peeled off and were aimlessly floating around. Boy, I tell you this sure will initiate a heebie-jeebies response! No not the kind of heebie-jeebies response you get from a scary haunted house, it's a heebie-jeebies response you get from stepping in 'fresh' dog crap (think: immediate disgust, then lots of anger, and finally a 'fight or flight' response).
Look, don't let the Courtyard Marriott's "labor savings efficiency program" (aka, don't spend a nickel on actual maintenance or housekeeping) throw you off. You've got to give the room a chance before making a full judgement of this hotel. When you walk in the room, you'll see that the room has been updated. "Hmmm, ok, nice", you'll think to yourself. But don't be silly, when you see the balcony and get excited about having a quiet spot to finish that book you've been reading, you'll be just as disappointed as you were with the rest of the hotel! Why - because this balcony offers no place to sit, yes you can occupy this luxurious space but only while standing. Oh, and if you enjoy second hand smoke, this is the place to be (again, standing only please). Supposedly smokers flock to this hotel, because they can smoke and not have to worry about going outside and standing in dark unlit areas and putting their cigarette butt in the can of black water, as previously mentioned.
And while talking about the room and the finer details this hotel has to offer, I mine as well mention the absolute low priority this hotel considers for the fire and life safety of their guests. Do not be throw off by the receptacle that's sticking out of the wall - just beware that when you pull on a plug to remove something, the whole receptacle box comes with it! But hey, don't get greedy - if you want to take the towels that's up to you, but just because the receptacle pulls out of the wall, please leave it there for the next guest to use. It sort of makes you wonder "does the smoke detection system work in this hotel?" The answer, I'd sure bet that it doesn't comply with current codes! In defense of the hotel, I'm pretty sure the non-functioning alarm comes to you at no extra charge...
Most hotels these days include a continental breakfast. Theres no greater feeling than seeing your kids face light up when they see the waffle machine. So when you ask the front desk attendant "Is that were the continental breakfast is?" as you point to a bar area behind you, and the front desk person says "Yes, from 6:00 to 9:00." But dont let that confirmation throw you off because what actually happens is that you'll head down in the AM, smell that delicious breakfast smell, but you wont see any continental breakfast! Instead, you'll see Amanda who will tell you how awesome their breakfast is as she trash talks the pre-made breakfast you get with other hotels. Then, when you reclarify what you did 12 hours prior with the front desk attendant, you'll get this response "I trained Greg. Greg would not have told that." And if you like a lot of passive aggressive conversation by a person wearing pajamas with tons and tons of sarcasm, Amanda is the person to talk too as she degradingly talks to you as if you were 5 years old, which really enlightens the whole experience.
All in all, if you enjoy being talked down to (admittedly, Greg was a really decent dude), like the notion of staying in unsafe facilities, and relish in the ambiance of shabbines - you should go to the DMV! Or stay at this hotel... My only regret is that I wasn't able to make this review more cynical... And staying at this hotel... read more