Decided since I just lost about $250 in Lotto tickets that I might as well have some retail therapy. Backed in the Uhaul dumb crooked in a handicap spot right out front and gave the officer standing outside the mall a little man-to-man head nod. Walked up to the doors and started banging my head on the door repeatedly until an obese woman opened it for me. She helped me put my arms back in the slings since I started to attempt to use my broken arms to open both doors. After she assisted me I immediately gunned it to Claire's. I had been thinking of gettkng my ears pierced for a few years now and my wife and me had the conversation the other night that I finally coulp. I walked into Claire reppin the South Pole Demin outfit with the bootleg denim tims and the Linp Biscuif tour tank underneath that was quite the conversation piece. The sales lady asked if my daughters needed help findin some "Frozen"trinkets but I belly laughed so loud that everyone in the store got down cause they thought the place was being robbed. I chuckled and stated confidently, "you just gotta have a laugh."
I walked up to the counter and told the teller, "Listen, I need a couple piercings on my head, you ready?" She chuckled and smiled softly and said "stoked!" We walked over to the chair right in the window so I could be put on display for all the shoppers to see walking around the mall hallways. She cleaned the equipment in front of me and we shared a couple riddles.
First she was going to pierce my left lobe. She put the gun up to my ear and told me it may pinch a little. I pulled out my Xanax sponsored stress ball and squeezed it so hard that it popped and the powder went everywhere. She then pulled the trigger shoting the needle into my skin. I got real startled and fell backwards in the chair smashing through the storefront window. Alarms were going off and people were standing there taking video of me for youtub. I stood up and tons of glass shards fell off me. I did accidently slice up eyeball so will be grabbing a quick patch from the drug store after. I walked back into Claire and started laughing hysterically. People were standing around me rubbing my back making sure I was okay. The employees wree so helpful and went got a bucket of water and rags for me to wipe up the blood. I sat back in the chair and the lass performed my second piercing which was my lip. Got snakedbits and two hoop earrings with the little stud balls. I whipped out a wad of singles and left an 80% tip. They took a picture of me for their wall of fame of people who decided to get their ear pierced in a mall. Someone told me mine looked like the cover of the Andre W K CD. I turned to him and looked at him with my good eye and said "let's go get some salap works." You best bring the kids to Claire and buy them all kind of belated birthday gift. read more