Why is it that every time I go to Joliet I feel like I am in a post-apocalyptic movie like Omega Man or 28 Days Later?
Oh right, the desolation!
While some of the western river towns like Aurora and Elgin seem to be enjoying a bit of a resurgence in the last few years, (to my eyes, anyway) Joliet is the same as it ever was and shows no sign of either sparking back into life or crumbling into dust. It just is.
Which may be a good slogan for them... "JOLIET: The City That Is".
Keep it, Joliet. My gift to you, no charge.
Sure, yeah, it is a city of moderate size. It simply has no population, or none that I have ever seen in the downtown area anyway. This may unnerve some people, but for one with misanthropic leanings such as myself, I find it rather charming, and believe it or not, an additional reason to come back once or twice a year.
Some people think that such desolation would attract the criminal element, but really why would it? There is no one to rob. Not only that, the buildings are all empty. There is nothing to loot. When the river pirates sail down the Des Plaines, they do not stop in Joliet because as they say "No booty thar be!"
But if they did stop, they would find a swell place to eat and drink in the Chicago Street Pub. Even the snootiest of beer snob pirates would sheathe his cutlass and take notice of the sixteen beers on tap. I noticed, and I don't even drink beer. Any pirate that has sailed the seven seas certainly would demand variety in their beers, and they would certainly find it at Chicago St.: English, Irish, Belgish, Germish, Costa Riquish, Jamaiquish, and probably several other 'ishes I am forgetting.
The food is very tasty and reasonably priced, so when you're low on doubloons, you can still fill up for a full night's pillagin'. I had a bacon cheeseburger that was excellent with delicious fries also. With several cokes my bill was less than $8.00. Considering the high quality of the food, this seems dirt cheap to me.
Chicago Street is Irish pubby in atmosphere, but really the best place is in the beer garden out on the sidewalk where you can gaze out upon an empty city where no cars will drive by. I find this very pleasant and relaxing without the rest of the world around, just you and your friends and whatever buccaneers might be inside despite the loot vacuum that exists in this city. It is nice that this oasis exists in Joliet so that I may enjoy the desolation in comfort.
I actually saw the bartender answer the phone, then hand it to various patrons several times during the night. There are a number of non-pirate regulars here also that are comfortable enough to hand out the bar's phone number as a contact number. I had thought such a practice was obsolete, but it is charming in its way.
The PA is not much to speak of. A bundle of mismatched speakers, amps, and mixers that were not functioning properly and actually held up the beginning of the show, since no one seemed to be versed in their operation. Sonic quality was poor, if still functional. This is the one thing holding back Chicago Street Pub from four stars, in my opinion. Minimal investment would make this a fine place to see a show. If I were to judge the pub alone, it would be four stars, no question.
The bathroom was somewhat rickety, but clean, so I have no complaint.
This may be the first review where I have talked about menu and pirates more than PA and bathrooms. If you are still curious if pirates do or do not frequent this establishment, I have to admit I am unclear on that myself, and I am also unclear as to how pirates made their way into this review. So don't bother asking, matey, just go and see for yourself. And bring your club and a bucket of golf balls, because you'll be able to hit them in any direction down the street without anyone yelling at you.
DISCLAIMER-- The Space Cupcake Organization does not endorse the following: destruction of private property, pillagin', use of the term "Belgish", golfing, or loot vacuum.
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