So my girlfriend and I were en route to partake in luxury seals at a 7pm Bruins game. We called for…read morea cab from Red Cab from Hyslop street in Brookline nearly fifty minutes prior to game time. The cab never came.
The next night, we were set to go to our two year anniversary dinner. We called red cab AN HOUR IN ADVANCE, ON A WEDS.Cab never showed.
Initially, I figured the cab was late, so we called the dispatcher. he said ten to twelve minutes. Fine. Fifteen minutes later, no cab. I call back again. He says ten to twelve minutes; now, after initially being polite, I was understandably perturbed at this point. I told him, "Buddy, don't piss on my leg and tell me it's raining. When's the guy getting here?'
At this point, he launches into a screaming, profanity laden triade, "Don't talk to me like like I'm your f***ing dog you two-bit punk..." To which I exclaimed, A: If you saw me, (I made a living for many years as an MMA fighter/armed security/nightclub bouncer) I would wear you like a sock puppet, you loud-mouthed telephone tough guy. Second of all, you can eat a bowl of cock and choke on the last three, you lazy, lying, back-of-the-short-bus, high school drop-out-pathetic excuse for a dispatcher. You're an obnoxious, rude snippy little c*nt; kill yourself and stop wasting my damned oxygen. Find a hedge and go play hide and go f*** yourself, you festering little anal wart.." and hung up.
Fifteen minutes prior to pur reservations, no cab ever showed, so I drove my own car there so fast I would've qualified for any F1 race I chose. Thank god for supercharged Mini coopers.
That said, throughout the evening, while eating, the dispatcher kept calling back my cell, nine times over the course of four hours, to scream, berate, and curse at me, even calling my girlfriend's mother's house whereupon we departed, and doing the same to her. At one point, when I was completely fed up, I answered my phone & told him I'd call him back right after his mother finished fellating me, at which point he got so loud that parties at tables twenty feet away turned to see who was screaming out my phone so loudly. At that point, I'd had it, so after we finished desert, I drove to their dispatch not to far away to see how tough wanna-be Mr. T really was, with the hopes that I'd be so privileged as to be able to actually kick a field goal with his skull. .
When I came in the door and confronted him, he ran like Usain Bolt out the back door, never to be seen again. The radio cackled with innumerable cabbies wondering where there next call was. And I couldn't help but notice the pornographic computer screen saver, a vat of petroleum jelly ON THE DESK, razor blade, "dusty" mirror, straw, and a smoldering marijuana roach in the man's office. It was bar none, the classiest office I have ever seen (if you worked peddling infant porn when you weren't to busy running your gonzo beasto-necrophelia clown porn empire.)
That said, for future reference given the creepy deliverance-baby lovechild of Steve Buschemi & Ralphie May running the show there, I'd feel better getting A ride from a balding stranger with a mustache drving a brown, 1970's blacked out panel van with a dildo for a hood ornament & bondage apparatuses welded to the frame in Kabul, rather than deal with these mouthy numb skulls again. They're tactless, undependable, and rude beyond words. And if the dispatchers are that messed up on duty, one must wonder what qualifies their drivers as "sober" and/or safe. I wouldn't roll the dice on my life with that crew of misfit chimps.
DO NOT EVER USE RED CAB EVER. They are without question, the worst, most unprofessional, unpunctual, rude, offensive, and disgusting cab company I have ever seen in all my worldly travels, not just in Boston. Take a stand, and spend your money elsewhere. You, and every patron, deserve far better service than they'll ever be capable of providing given the pandemic plethora of ineptitude permeating across the board at that company.
Zero stars. Epic fail. I'm pissed as hell I MUST give them at least a star on Yelp to post this, as they deserve a negative several hundred star rating.
And, I'll even sign my name to this (Ty Hawkins) just to show I'm not blowing smoke up anyone's ass. I have several witnesses and a phone record and voice mails to back it up. I can be emailed at "EmailTyHawkins@yahoo.com" for interview requests, and given the level of pyroclastic festering rage that I still feel over being so mistreated on two consecutive nights by these douche nozzles, I am willing to proliferate my story, and sign to it, to any and all news media or bloggers wishing to quote me. F*CK RED CAB.
