A long time ago I realized that I don't like the person I am when I write reviews, and I especially don't like the idea of writing cruel things about a smaller local business, whose operators as individuals, I'm sure are no more deserving of harsh critique than any other person... But there comes a point of due diligence and public service, where my experience was remarkably unpleasant enough, that I think it should be noted, in the ether.
The music was horrible and obnoxiously loud and all made more unpleasant remixes of Ariana Grande songs, so it was just as tedious as it was grating. I realize it's not the most valid complaint but it's the nicest thing I have to say, so I'm saying it first.
The bao dough was the bare minimum requirement to count as mediocre or subpar. Any worse it would have just been very bad. It felt completely deflated, the texture was sort of crumbly, but not especially so, no textural variance to make up for the lack of pillowy inflatedness I expect from bao... It was the worst possible middle ground between good bao dough and bread. None of the endearing qualities of either but still irrefutably some sort of flour based dough...
The concept of a bao burger hybrid: the baoger, is a redundancy. Grilling the bao dough to have crisp edges entirely undermines the bao, and it will taste so hardly different anyway, that you're basically getting a burger with the promise that it'll be crappier, because it's on a smaller and more volatile bread, that they've put all their energy into, instead of crafting a competent burger. It was indeed soggy.
Everything we ordered was egregiously deep fried. The batter itself was okay, but dangerously oily and covering nothing. I couldn't taste or feel any of the substances they were allegedly covering. No exaggeration. I assumed they somehow cooked everything in the oil to the point that they liquified and became one with the oil, or they just deep fried some vaguely food shaped reusable molds. Maybe this would have been slightly more acceptable if it were clear in their advertising, name, logo and mission statement. Many of the deep fried items didn't even specify they were deep fried on the menu. We ordered al pescatarian options, so take this with a grain of salt... something they seemingly forgot to do:
Flavor and balance wise, it was a mess. Most of everything was unseasoned, or at least discernibly unseasoned. The oil saturated everything. Every product that bothered to add vegetables like lettuce or sprouts, added them in the most pathetic quantity, perfectly tailored so you could appreciate how disgusting each of the 3 parts per dish are on their own, let alone together. Every time I took a bite of one dish, I'd go "oh, this is the worst one, It'll be a relief, albeit only do to relativity, to go back to the other one." But then you'd go back to the other one and go "Oh no. How could I have been so foolish. This one is the worst one.".
I felt sick after. I honestly think there's a good chance that just drinking unopened frier oil would have been more refreshing and appetizing, because it least it wouldn't have touched their food.
The bill was offensive. When there was a 55 cent credit surcharge, and they asked if that was okay, I didn't respond with a yes or no, but I should have said no. It's the first time I've ever cared about that question.
Like I said, I don't want to be cruel. If you like this place, I don't want to stop you from liking it. If you still want to try it, I don't want to stop you either. If you're on the fence, and somehow have specifically read through all of this review, I still don't want to sway you. If you're affiliated with this restaurant, I wish no ill will on you or the restaurant, and you're very welcome to use what I've written to improve. What I've written was my own experience, that I believe others might appreciate having out there, but it doesn't have to mean anything. I don't wanna think, write about or go to this place again, but that's just me. read more