Do not go here unless you want mosquito bites, to be covered in thick, thick oil, and do not care about actually leaving relaxed.They don't know what they are doing and for 250 dollars I have never felt so ripped off. I was almost crying during the massage because I'd been SO looking forward to it, but that's how bad it was.
My husband and I decided to make our big splurge be a great massage. Unfortunately we were impatient and wanted it that afternoon. After calling all of the other places, to find out they were full, touch kauai of course had an opening for a couples massage.
It was hands down the worst massage experience of my life. My husband had never had a professional massage before, and he said after this he has no interest in even getting one again.
We arrived, it's in someone's house up in the hills, and it looked ok. We went into great depth as to what we both wanted and needed. I specifically SHOWED the masseuse how I HATE being rubbed all over like swedish massage, and that I wanted her to go as deep as she could. My husband the same. We both had a lot of tension and knots and wanted to really feel the massage. After 20 minutes of talking about our needs, we went to lay down for the massages.
We heard the owner whisper to her friend, "thank you for coming" because I assume she doesn't normally do couples massages and I wonder if her friend had any idea what she was doing.
They chanted some stuff and then poured thick oil all over us, rubbing us in no particular order whatsoever. One second she would be on my neck, then my hand, then it seemed like she was at my feet. She'd ask, "how is the pressure" as she was just rubbing her hands lightly over me like I was applying lotion to my arms. I said, ummm harder please. (like actually push) but to no avail. One side of my back felt looser than the other because she spent a completely different amount of time on each side. I kept thinking, maybe she will get going here after she's warmed up... little did I know my husband was having the same experience on his side. Except she was whispering things to him like, "what is the color of relaxation..... THINK BLUE".
At one point she just left the room, and I was waiting... then she came back and kept going. Im not sure where she went.
When it was over, they just left the room again. They didn't say anything like, "ok relax and get up when you are ready" They just left and we lay there for a while just waiting and wondering what was going on.
there were mosquitos buzzing around the whole time and I got 7 bites. she had also just eaten something very strong for lunch and her breath made me sick.
I think the most disappointing thing was when she asked, "what is it you want out of this massage today?" Both of us said, to feel tension relief and to work out some of our knots. if they didnt like to give massages that required pushing on knots, they should have been honest. I do not like just being softly caressed all over my body. my husband said he'd feel her go over a knot and just keep on going, paying no attention.
Trust me this is the SHORT story about how bad it was. I've never left a massage so upset before. I wish I'd spent just a little more and gone to a real spa. trust me, don't waste your time or money. read more