Dr. Sayaka has literally been nothing short of a LIFE CHANGER for my husband and I, individually…read moreand as a married couple together. I am aware her main focus is sexual therapy, but she's also an excellent individual and couples relationship therapist, so please consider her if you need that, as well.
A note for those afraid of or think therapy is not for them: Luckily, my husband and I have never had hangups about seeking professional assistance off and on when we get "stuck." We've seen a variety of therapists throughout our relationship from about year #2 on. That sounds like we have major issues, but we really don't. We are 16+ years into our very happy and successful monogamous relationship. We love and respect each other, we are each others' best friend, and we enjoy each other's company more than anyone else's on this planet - and always have. We live, work, and spend ~23 hours of every day together - BY CHOICE. No relationship is or can be perfect, but that hasn't stopped us from trying! When we identify an issue that keeps popping up and can't seem to work it out ourselves, we seek help to get past it. We love and respect each other so much that we know it is important. We aren't egotistical enough to think going to therapy is weak or that if we can't work it out on our own, it is not meant to be. We realize that couples who have issues and choose NOT to seek help are the ones that don't value their relationship. We value ours so much that seeking help is a no-brainer and it has always served us well.
Having said that, of all the therapists we have seen, Dr. Sayaka has been the best, hands down. She has helped us both individually and in sessions together to fix some MAJOR life-long issues we each have that affected our relationship together and with others. There has to come a time when you "graduate," as she calls it, and while we both would still enjoy fine tuning ALL of our issues, Dr. Sayaka gleefully told us one day that we've graduated and there is no need to come in for regular sessions anymore. In our experience, this is unheard of; almost all therapists are happy to continue to take your money as long as you want to give it. Dr. Sayaka was goal oriented in her approach and knew further sessions would have diminishing returns since we had both grown so much individually and together over the 1.5 year we spent with her. She pushed us out of her nest!
Between the two of us, we worked on issues such as letting go of childhood trauma, abandonment issues, alcoholic tendencies, anger, unrealistic expectations, getting closer and deeper emotionally, being vulnerable in general and with others, trust, not needing other's approval and wanting everyone to like you, respecting individual time/needs, perfectionism, and more. We covered a lot of ground and we each have grown a TON. And, so yes, sex is also much better since we are closer. It's all actually pretty amazing. You have to be willing to show up, do the work, and be active in your growth along the way to see the amount of change we have seen. But, it's worth the investment in time and money if you are at a point where you are ready for REAL change. Many people WANT change, but aren't willing to work for it or move through the uncomfortableness needed to achieve it. We were both there and willing, so we saw the results with her guiding us every step of the way.
Now that we have graduated, we still practice the homework she assigned us, which is key to having lasting results. We love it though and it doesn't feel like homework; it feels like we get to play fun games together and benefit from them - a win-win! We even proactively share some of the exercises with our friends because we have seen such amazing results from them.
I could go on and on about Dr. Sayaka, but in short, if you're stuck, you want change, are willing to work for it, and don't know where to start...RUN (don't walk) to Dr. Sayaka. She will greet you with her warm compassion and smile. She will be direct, present and compassionate. She will sit silently holding a space for you as long as you need and even cry with you through the uncomfortable times and the great breakthroughs. She is emotionally intelligent, as well as very intuitive. She is NOT a normal therapist; I'd put her up against anyone out there...and I have been to MANY therapists in the past. She is the one who has "fixed" us, individually and together, for now. We both have an easily accessible armory of tools to refer to when our instincts kick back in and we could not be more grateful to her for that.
Will we likely see her again? Yes. Because we don't have expectations we won't have something in 5 or 10 years that comes up as our lives change that will benefit from an outside impartial professional. But, I can honestly say that I look forward to that day. If you are not growing and changing for the better, what are you doing with your life? And with growth, comes growing pains. It's OK. GO SEE HER.
