As a gentleman of the very first house of the first and second cause, exuding only the finest and most refined of tastes, it is only appropriate that I conjure a review for the sole establishment in town that even approximates the degree of quality befitting of my person. Thus, let us assay the Rhine House with a most critical and discerning eye.
First, we must acknowledge that a bar's aesthetic is the very soul of its being. Thusly, to delineate both the intent and consequence of an aesthetic--and to determine their alignment--is to unmask the de facto efficacy of said establishment. In this sense, we find the Rhine House situated firmly and unabashedly in its ethos - neither pretentious nor unnecessarily humble, the aesthetic belies the very same earnestness of its soul. One of its patrons (on which I shall speak presently) might refer to such an atmosphere as "Fine, whatever. Just a local bar," by which we can corroborate that it is indeed the very quintessence of candid self-actualization... the ding an sich.
Next, it is only fitting that we turn to the common patronage of an establishment in order to gain a sense of its proverbial terroir. For what else is a bar if not the corporeal presence of a community's ethereal (though nonetheless substantial) identity? If the Rhine House is any microcosm of its greater community, then it does the town a service in its facade. Eschewing whatever negative connotations we might attach to a meaningless label of "diversity," the actual diversity of the Rhine House's clientele is a refreshing slice of humanity's imperfections and accomplishments alike. Were I a layman, unconcerned with the ambiguities of cliché adages, I might daresay the place is down-to-earth.
Penultimately, let us recognize that the staff of this establishment have little tolerance for nonsense and a large tolerance for everything else. Should an inebriated hooligan attempt to incite a furor among those around him, I have little doubt that s/he would be dealt with swiftly and uncompromisingly (for the good of the order, of course). Conversely, the same barkeeps do well to humor others in their trivial conversations, no matter how many iterations of the same topics and questions have been drunkenly thrown at their direction, perhaps in an attempt at quelling--or at least fleetingly mitigating--the encroaching loneliness of life.
Finally, it would only be fitting to note the variety of spirits available and the financial burdens thereunto. Stated plainly, the variety of ales and liquors is adequate; the variety of wines is unsurprisingly limited, yet considerable in quality. Among all options, cost is no greater factor than one should expect (at worst) or, on some nights and for some particular libations, exceedingly fair (at best). In total, I would estimate that all manners of person from all manners of occupation could afford both the literal cost and the company involved in such an outing.
Please pardon any errors or idiosyncrasies in this screed - English is but my eighth language.
P.S. They also allow doggos and puppers. ^_^ read more
