2/15/21
"Fresh FRIES cut daily!" "Fresh ground chuck"... sounds good to me.
4 stars on Yelp. Oooooh.... nice...
Look, there are 5 types of restaurant seekers, and the crux is... sometimes 4 of the 5 are the same person:
1. If I'm happy, anything tastes good
2. If it's a hole-in-the-wall place hidden in the backside of a cute little tourist town, I'm gonna love it no matter what
3. I have no taste buds, and never met food that didn't taste good... UNLESS there's too little of it or it costs too much. Then it tastes awful and I'm gonna enjoy that 1-star rating
4. I'm a nicey nicey, and I just won't write anything but 5-star reviews
5. ........and then the honorable: fair, consistent, accurate.
So clearly, only 1-4's have visited. #5 came today.
1. Giant Vienna $9: It's a big hot dog, apparently steamed or boiled (not grilled), on a warmed bun. They ask you which toppings you want. Whatever you request is placed in the basket on the side, sauces in containers. So,... you know, basically they did the equivalent of microwaving that bun and dog for 'ya, and that's.... it. I have NEVER seen such low-effort EVER for a hot dog at a restaurant. Only Costco does less. Tastes fine. Except Costco is $1.50 for the dog + drink. So you know, this is like 9x the price.... 2/10
1a. Those "Fresh FRIES cut daily!": Oh it comes with fries. And these are probably the soggiest "fresh cut" fries I've EVER had. I swore they were store-bought frozen fries, but I doubt they're liars. 2/10
2. Half Pound Burger $11: Funny thing was when they called my number I walked up, grabbed the dog and brought it to my table. Then I came back for the hamburger and looked, and was like.... huh?--then I walked back to the table and looked. Yup, that's the dog. Then I walked back to the restaurant counter and looked--.............. OH SHT.... they put a patty inside a hot dog bun. YUP, I gotta hand it to them--that's a great way to cut cost of materials, just used the same bun for hotdogs and hamburgers! GENIUS!
.....but I think you know what's coming: right, that "fresh ground chuck" was probably one of the worst patties I've EVER had at a restaurant. Imagine a patty made out of falafel, but hardened. That's what it tasted like. Not rubbery, but a dusty and chalky dryness. Oh and like the hotdog, ABSOLUTELY NO EFFORT here. In fact, they committed one of the 10 sins: because the cheese was melted onto the meat, and placed between buns when served, the whole thing stuck together. There was no way you could peel back the bun from the cheese as it was glued together, without ripping the flesh from the bread. I HATE THAT!--don't you? So, since all the toppings are on the side, what to do what to do??? 1/10
3. Large Diet Coke $3: Yeah it's large. So person #3 would be happy with this.
4. Corn Dog $7: I didn't order this but thought I'd share cause it's HILARIOUS. I asked them if this was made in-house, as in hand-dipped here. Cashier said no. I asked, "Is this frozen?" "Yes." So there you go--$7 for a store-bought frozen hot dog. I rest my case.
If you see anyone enjoying their food here, leave them alone. They might want to eat you too.
1/5
#burger #burgerstand #bodegabay #star #worstever #fastfood #americanfastfoot #hotdog #hotdogstand read more