Fantastic, all around! I love this place!
Wayne G, from Las Vegas, who gave the Monk 1 star in his review below did so on the grounds that it was neither kid nor pet-friendly. Rather than review the Monk here, which is top notch in every possible way, I'm going to review Wayne, so as to negate his ridiculous assessment of this casual, convivial and irreplaceable fixture of the local community.
The Bitter Monk is a tap room, licensed by OLCC to sell alcohol to people who can legally drink it. By definition, then, it cannot be kid-friendly without losing its license to operate as . . . you know, a TAP ROOM. Perhaps a few toddlers perched atop the bar stools and drinking IPA out of sippy cups would be more to Wayne's liking? To be fair, Wayne does hail from Las Vegas, where you can pretty much drink a 64-ounce tequila slushie any damn place you please, including while you're walking down the Strip with your kids or even IN A CAR with them, as long as you aren't the one who's driving, all of which makes Vegas, technically, the most "kid-friendly" place to drink in all of America.
I'm not sure how the two full bowls of water for dogs outside the Monk's door escaped Wayne's notice. And how did he miss the many patrons who routinely come to sit at the outdoor tables with their dogs pretty much every day? Aha! Looking over his review again, I see that he posted it in February, so the tables weren't likely out and any water in the Monk's dog bowls would have surely been frozen over. Does Wayne encounter a lot of dog-friendly outdoor seating in February? In Oregon? I'm trying to picture, as a dog owner myself, what pet-friendly would look like in February in Oregon. Should the Monk maintain a heated outdoor tent full of dog beds from November until April? Seems like a lot to ask.
Wayne's nearly three hundred reviews make for some good reading. Dude gets around. And he is not above reviewing (and harshly) places like a Newberg, Oregon Pizza Hut ("Owner should have franchise revoked!") or, at the other end of the spectrum, his scathing comments about Lamborghini of Las Vegas that, I think, resonate with nearly every typical Yelp reader trying to determine which Lamborghini dealer to choose ("Also the Ferrari is far superior compared to the Lambo with better dual clutch transmission, far nicer interior, vastly superior technology in the GPS, monitoring LCDS and far superior sound system plus a hard top conv for about the same price as my prior Lambo.") I wish he had included in his Bitter Monk review whether or not the Monk was "Lambo-friendly." That's the kind of stuff I need to know before I get a pint somewhere.
A Seattle Petco fared no better under Wayne's scrutiny, as he berated their service and got in some faulty analogies/political digs while he was at: "I rate them a F minus the same as our current Congress and President in USA!" (sic).
When you see an outlier review on Yelp, I encourage you to tug the thread a little, see where it leads. In Wayne's case, you'll find some amusing reviews, some kooky ramblings, some jet-set whining, some low-brow surprises, and the most scathing review of a Sherwood, Oregon KFC you're likely to find anywhere on the internet. One thing's sure: if A1 Limo in Chicago is getting one star from Wayne (and it is), the odds are good that Chicago teens who want to impress their prom dates could do a lot worse than hiring a limo from A1. read more