Welcome to the illustrious Big House, or as I like to call it, the "Tower Hill 2.O" where the liquor license is as reliable as a paper umbrella in a hurricane. This establishment is basically a sequel to the Tower Hill Tavern saga, which had its license yanked quicker than a biker's bandana in a windstorm. Why, you ask? Oh, just the usual shenanigans: over-serving regulars and a little incident involving a local motorcycle club member unleashing a can of whoop-ass right out front. Nothing says "fine dining" like a side of brawl with your brew!
Now, let's talk about the staff--oh, the delightful crew! They treat newcomers like they just crawled out from under a rock, while the regulars are handed drinks like they're the last lifeboats on the Titanic. If you're not a "friend" or a familiar face, good luck getting served at last call. It's like a VIP club where the only requirement is a penchant for bad decisions and a history of questionable life choices.
If "stupid is what stupid does" were a bar, it would be a tie between Tower Hill Tavern and the Big House. They're practically conjoined twins in the world of bad business. And let's not forget the staff, proudly donning their Tower Hill hoodies like they're part of some exclusive motorcycle club. Spoiler alert: wearing a Tower Hill or Support 81 hoodie doesn't automatically grant you street cred or social skills.
When questioned about their beloved tavern's less-than-stellar reputation, they puff out their chests, trying to intimidate like they're auditioning for a role in a low-budget action flick. Here's a thought: if you don't want to answer questions about the liquor license fiasco, maybe don't flaunt your connection to the establishment while out and about. Just a genius idea, right?
So how about it, town officials? Can we revoke that liquor license entirely and let someone with a modicum of class open a joint that attracts patrons who actually possess dignity? You know, a place where people don't brag about their arrest records and think being linked to a biker gang under FBI scrutiny is the epitome of cool? One can dream! South Park got it right....
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