Well, Downtown Hillsboro has killed yet another pizza shop at this location…read more
The first, Sizzle Pie, seemed like an anomaly, as parent company Sortis Holdings was going through tremendous upheaval and closing locations of many of its chains (Sizzle, See See's, Rudy's, etc.). But killing off Ranch--a chain that catered directly to this area's dumb love of ranch dressing on pizza and Abby's/Izzy's-style toppings overkill--suggests that Hillsboro culture may not be able to handle an actual, grown-up, big-city pizza shop.
You cannot blame the presumed lack of foot traffic on Second Avenue for this. Now, with the exception of Pizzario--which makes the same small, wood-fired pizzas in the same space that its predecessor Earth Mother did, only with a focus on live music and cheap drinks--every pizza shop in Hillsboro is now located in a strip mall. Jersey Girl, the Schmizzas, Curry Pizza House, and Ranch's replacement, Society Pie: All in strip malls and all pretty much reliant on drive-up service or, with the exception of Schmizza's direct delivery, third-party apps.
You also can't blame the culture of said pizza shop. Sizzle Pie was always going to be a tough fit here because of the metal soundtrack and kids behind the counter that the olds seemed fixated on hating, but Ranch basically was Hillsboro. It was $3-off happy hour specials, it video games for the kids (and Gen X/older Milennial parents), it was home delivery, it was classic rock.
You can't even blame the location anymore. Grand Central bakery has now been there since the plaza opened and witnessed multiple pizza places come and go. While the first bar overlooking that plaza failed, the tapas place that took its spot has been going for more than a year and has been shockingly popular.
No, it's just clear that good pizza isn't really Hillsboro's thing. When Ranch closed and Society Pie was announced as the replacement, there was some excitement about it being a suburban tenant, but there was also the reaction that the space was now playing down to its surrounding area. And that's a fair assessment.
Both Sizzle Pie and Ranch came about because their founders wanted to make unique versions of existing pizza styles and managed to carve their own niches in New York- and Detroit-style pizzas. They produced combinations that challenged the customer and showed them new combinations of ingredients and flavors that are absent from the suburban pizza spectrum.
Hillsboro rejected that wholeheartedly, despite a price tag that, per inch, was more of a bargain than Pizzario right down the street. Now it gets Society Pie which speaks to it in a language that the city understands. Ducks and Beavers, tech bro jokes (it's a picture of Ice-T because it's an iced tea fountain, get it?), local band posters and high school photos on the walls. And the pizza? Much like Jersey Girl or Pizzario, "good for a suburb." There's more effort than you'll see from a local chain, but maybe fewer beers, cocktails, and apps than your better Schmizza locations and nothing that will replace Lovely's, Baby Doll, Pizza Jerk, Red Sauce, Ken's, Apizza Scholls, Dimo's, Scottie's, or Escape From New York in your heart if you moved out here from Portland for work or what you presumed were better schools.
There's a strong chance that Society Pie makes the third pizza place in this space the charm because it understands both what it isn't and what the neighborhood needs it to be. But if community spirit, slice specials, better signage, and dedicated delivery service still don't revive this pizza spot in the former bank drive-thru, then it isn't Portland or the pricing or the parking that are at fault--it's Hillsboro itself.
