Come here for the Galley Boy. Not for the Girlie Boy. If you want a Girlie Boy, then I'm available this weekend for half hour specials.
What to get: A Galley Boy!
What not to get: Infections or rashes from an Alley Boy.
Are you saying you've gotten those: No comment.
I needed a keeper for my football (soccer) team. Came here and asked for a Goalie Boy. Ended up with an amazing burger.
There are many locations throughout NE Ohio, and I've tried most of them. The service at this location is better than at most of the others, but I wouldn't care much anyway - I come for the food. The burgers here are otherworldly. Make sure you get the Galley Boy, and make sure you eat it while it's piping hot. These things are always served up piping hot, burn-your-mouth-hot, so make sure you take advantage of that the way that one ex took advantage of you two summers ago.
I wanted a guy who uses a ton of hair product. Came here and asked for a Gelly Boy. Ended up with an amazing burger.
It's basically a melty gooey cheesy saucy burger on what seems to be brioche, with tasty thin-patty meat (double), and something that is sort of like McDonald's Big Mac sauce but much better on it. It comes wrapped in foil with an olive on a toothpick stuck in the top. A delicious green olive, no less. These things are dirt cheap (like, under $3) and hearty. Two of them will fill you up, one is perfect for a snack.
Wanted a guy from the 50s who uses out-of-date expressions of exclamation. Came here and asked for a Golly Boy. Ended up with an amazing burger.
Drinks are interesting, but hypersweet. Their chocolate shakes are not bad at all. Their "Florida" and "California" drinks are mixtures of all your fave sodas. The Florida is actually pretty good although it gives me a headache from too much HFCS (High Fructose Corn Syrup). They're worth a try, but don't make a habit of it. I like that they are innovative though. Top marks for that.
Wanted a guy on horseback. Came here and asked for a Galloping Boy. Ended up with an amazing burger.
It's a drive-in. Turn your lights on for service. Turn them off when you don't need service. The service at Swenson's is 50's style, with young adults and tweens running from car to car to take and deliver orders, and yelling out what the orders are as per company policy. Tip them - it can't be easy to run around and yell the way they have to. I'm sure it's a confidence-builder though.
Wanted a pirate guy. Came here and asked for a Gantry Boy. Ended up with an amazing burger.
One thing that Swenson's doesn't do well is getting your food out quickly. Sometimes it's speedy as a Gonzalez, but at other times it might be 15 mins for a burger. So be prepared for that, and know that it will be worth the wait.
Wanted a tall, lanky, skinny dude. Came here and asked for a Gangly Boy. Ended up with an amazing burger. Although I must say, there were several Gangly Boys working here as servers. If any of them want to reach me, they can message me at 1-800-GIRLIE-BOY. read more