I was dating this guy who really liked massages. I guess I kind of assumed his love language was physical touch (just like my cat's) but after a few months I realized that our "dates" weren't really dates at all. Mostly me or him showing up, watching tv, I buy or make food for him, give him a massage, then he falls asleep and I go into a different room to do work on my computer.
So, turns out... I wasn't really dating this guy at all, I guess. I think I was just giving him a place to stay, making him food, sewing his ripped pants, rubbing his back, and really not getting a ton of my love language (quality time) in return. I guess I was kind of his mom but, ya know... with a sexual twist. woof. That was hard to type and my therapist is clearly going to get an earful next session but oh well here we are two days before valentine's day and I'm paying a strange man to touch me. You live, you learn, you go back to being a barren spinster. That's life.
Anyway, I was next door getting a pedicure and the woman touching my leg was like... this incredible experience. And it was then that I realized I had not left my apartment in a week and a half and had not been touched by a human in... let's just say longer. I thought about how the night before I tried to trick myself into turning my cat's love and affection into the feeling of a human's affection. Like, we're just in a really comfortable longterm relationship. We don't do "it" but like, we make out I guess... which is maybe just me blowing kisses towards him and him smelling my breath but potayto, potahto. He let's me touch his face so if I had to 'define the relationship', I'd say we're very serious.
So I decided that even though I'm adhering to a very strict budget, that it was necessary to both my physical and mental health to have some sort of human contact. I looked up massages and saw there was a place right next door to my nail place. It looked... basic. And the prices seemed cheap... which was exactly what I knew my top of the line would be so it was a perfect fit. Low budget body work? I'm in.
I walked over, walked in, there was no one there customer-wise but me. I didn't have an appointment but Tuesdays at 4:45 must be their slow time. I looked at the menu and the prices seemed too good to be true and if you pay cash you can get an even better discount. The guy pointed to the menu and said that the 90 minute foot and body massage was less than the menu stated. That took me a few tries to understand and I'm not sure why and I probably should have asked more questions but I did not and just went with it.
Like everyone says, it's no frills. If I had to give the ambiance a description, I'd say 'hospice-y'. The seats are comfortable and my guy did a great job although I cannot relax and cannot shut my brain off from being like, 'a stranger man is touching me. a stranger man is touching me', but I tried as hard as I could to close my eyes and pretend it was the guy I was seeing finally giving me a massage back. I think because he'd never actually "scratched my back" that I just couldn't get there so I spent the entire hour and a half with my eyes partially open either under the eye towel peeking out the bottom to see what was happening with my legs, or peeking through the massage table head hole at the ikea stool or the guys socks and sandals below.
I like a real hard, deep massage and the guy did a nice job with that, but my favorite part, hands down, was when he came in and cracked my back a bunch of times and when he turned my head like the girl from the exorcist and cracked it some more. THAT was what I needed. That and pretty much anytime he touched my head or face because mannnn it's been too long and that was like, so so nice.
Anyway, I don't know if it was a happy hour special or something but it was only $58 for an hour and half. I ended up tipping $20 because that price seemed so low but I'd totally come back and use this place as my low budget chiropractor. read more
