PIXIE DUSTER This…read moreGerstlauer spinning coaster is more intense than the innocuous name would have you believe. It finally happened--my son rode his very first big kid roller coaster a couple months shy of his 5th birthday!  After watching countless videos and mentally prepping him, we survived a circuit on a ride with a moderate level of thrills. I say 'survived' because only one of us fully enjoyed the experience. This marks the 3rd Gerstlauer spinner I've been on, following Pandemonium(s) @ Six Flags Fiesta Texas and Six Flags St Louis.  I'd forgotten that this model can be disorienting even for seasoned coaster veterans, despite being only 54ft tall with a 31mph top speed. As soon as the cars disengage from the lift hill, automated controls put them in a "free spin" mode until they hit the final set of station brakes (fun fact: many cars wind up with enough momentum that they're still spinning on the brake run).  If you can load up a car fully, the spinning amplifies. This ride pulls a surprising 3.2G's with major banking on the turns.  1-1/2 minutes is plenty of time to feel dizzy across a layout that weaves around existing attractions.  There's even a nice bump of airtime right before the ending helix. FOC's biggest drawback is its horrible rider throughput.  On most days, they run 1-2 cars that seat a max of 4 people.  However, most folks hop on two at a time and operators don't pair people up, so in many cases the ride only cycles through a handful of people every 5 minutes! The boarding process is slower than molasses, too.  Platform attendants were very friendly and let my kid get on despite him having a Toddler Tuesday wristband which doesn't include the major coasters at Nickelodeon Universe (they were cool and said "don't worry about it, hop in and have fun!") * TL;DR * Fairly Odd Coaster has been a great addition to the ride lineup at Nickelodeon Universe since 2004. While I would've loved to have my son's first coaster be the venerable Whizzer @ Six Flags Great America, there was an opportunity to "do a spinny ride" while at the Mall of America's indoor amusement park, so we took advantage of it.  Sort of a 2 birds / 1 stone thing. (in retrospect, I don't think my 5yo fully realized what he was in for, and having previously nixed the idea of going on Pepsi Orange Streak - a much more suitable family-friendly coaster - I got his buy-in with Fairly Odd Coaster.  While I certainly had fun, I think he needs some time to process.  The big G-forces were a bit too much for my little 'G'.) Don't be fooled by the modest ride stats, this coaster can get buck wild when you least expect it.  Be sure to include this as part of your day at Nick Universe!

AXE MASTER The ride…read moreformerly known as Paul Bunyan's Log Chute is charming, unique and LONG! Nickelodeon Universe might have 4 major roller coasters, but I think the overall best ride at Mall of America's indoor park is the simply named Log Chute. This is a log flume made by Hopkins and remains one of the mall's original rides from 1992 that has retained its title (and appearance) despite the rest of the world changing around it.  Even though his name is no longer attached to the ride, you can still find a huge Paul Bunyan statue inside the ride's beautiful mountain façade. Speaking of which, Log Chute has some terrific indoor sections rivaling those of Timber Mountain Log Ride @ Knotts Berry Farm and Splash Mountain(s) @ various Disneyland(s).  Here, the water level is set and carefully monitored to ensure no one gets drenched, because ultimately this ride is still in the center of a shopping mall. Fun fact: this is the longest duration ride in the entire park at a whopping 5-1/2 minutes!  Most of that time is a mixture of thrills and sightseeing, the latter giving you excellent views of Nickelodeon Universe and the surrounding foodcourt.  There's two conveyor belt lifts and two drops, the second of which is 40ft; both are fun. Fiberglass logs seat up to 4 riders in-line and most notably do not have seatbelts or a lap bar.....so hang on and don't stand up.  The final lift has a colorful lightshow and it brings you eye-level with people walking around the mall.  It's awesome to see the reaction of shoppers who don't realize there's a log flume, like, right there. Remember to wave! Keep an eye peeled for a red stadium seat halfway thru the ride; this is in honor of Harmon Killebrew - former Minnesota Twin - who hit a 520ft home run at the old Metropolitan Stadium which used to occupy the land Mall of America now sits on. There's a matching plaque for home plate over by SpongeBob Rock Bottom Plunge, so it makes more sense in context. Log Chute undergoes several seasonal makeovers throughout the year, including Halloween (the "Fog Chute"), Valentine's Day (the "Love Chute"), Christmas (the "Yule Log Chute") and even April Fool's Day (the "Kenny Loggins Chute"). All A+ puns, dad approved. Even the 20ft Paul Bunyan figure gets outfit changes: for Halloween he's been a pirate, Jim Hopper from Stranger Things, Hulk Hogan, and during the holidays, you can find him sporting a Santa hat and singing lumberjack Christmas carols. Festive, ya sure! * TL;DR * Not only is the classic Log Chute the best ride inside Nickelodeon Universe, it's one of the most distinctive water rides in the entire country. Of all the attractions inside MoA, their venerable log flume was without a doubt my favorite.  Not even the forced Nickelodeon rebranding could touch ol' Paul Bunyan - a beloved figure around these parts - and his loggin' chute. He held his (big) axe and stood his ground! Log Chute gives a ton of bang for your buck with detailed dark ride sections, a not-so-hidden easter egg, a great winding layout, a wonderful sense of humor and decent thrills, all done under a giant glass dome.  It's absolutely one of a kind!

It's a lot drop ride. It's similar to RipSaw Falls being a…read morewater based log drop. It was pretty fun! The drop didn't seem too intense and there wasn't an overwhelming splash back on my trip. It's a water ride, but I didn't come off of it completely soaked, which was nice.

The initial drop on this coaster is insane! This ride is…read morepretty intense for something that's in a mall! I grew up with the episode that this roller coaster is based on . Where SpongeBob and Patrick go to rock-bottom because they took the wrong bus and it plum it down a steep hill. That's definitely the feel they were going for here and they nailed it! This is a pretty good adrenaline pumping ride !

FORTY FATHOMS DEEP…read more This SpongeBob themed ride is undoubtedly the most thrilling roller coaster inside Nickelodeon Universe. I had to sneak away from the family to snag this important coaster credit (don't worry, my wife begrudgingly OK'd it and thankfully the wait was short).  The queue doesn't move fast--trains only seat 8 at a time, and with only a single car on the track most days, the line can stagnate. The coaster itself is bright teal track and a tidy 1,371ft in length - shorter than the neighboring Pepsi Orange Streak (2,680ft).  The ride lasts 2 minutes although nearly half of that is time spent on the 75ft vertical lift hill. Speaking of which, a vertical lift is unsettling if you've never experienced one before.  It's different from an elevator lift, which has you facing forward at all times; a vertical lift has you facing UP, as in the sky, or in this case, glass roof. After a brief stall at the crest of the lift hill (which comes incredibly close to the ceiling), there's a beyond vertical drop taken at 97° which gets the flame-decaled car up to 44mph.  As the car "bottoms out" at the base of the drop, true to the ride's namesake, you hit 4.5G's.  You feel it, too! This is followed by a vertical loop, a small bunny hill that delivers a brief pop of airtime, a cutback/overbanked turn (technically an inversion), and a heartline roll.  From there, it's a block brake section and a few low to the ground turns that ends with a 360° helix. The highly 3D signage is awesome too.  The coaster's based off of the Season 1, Episode 17 segment where our titular character and Patrick get stranded in the abyssopelagic zone (yes, I had to look that up).  The in-your-face sign and overall ride experience aligns perfectly with the theme of the episode.  Well done! * TL;DR * The mere fact that a roller coaster this intense exists inside The Mall of America is pretty remarkable. While it's shorter than I'd like (it could really use another ground-hugging heartline roll) and more toned down compared to some other Gerstlauer coasters out there - like Monster @ Adventureland in Iowa - I've still gotta give it 5*. All in all, it's a great addition to Nick Universe and the sensation of nearly touching the top of the large atrium as you come over the top is a really unique feeling.  I definitely recommend grabbing a few laps on this one.

HALFPIPE HEAD-SCRATCHER…read more This 'U'-shaped ride inside the Mall of America is technically a roller coaster, albeit a lame one. I was intrigued by Avatar Airbender, as I'd never ridden an Intamin 'Surfrider' coaster before.  The layout is nothing more than a large halfpipe, with the main car (styled to look like a giant surfboard) making repeated passes back and forth. This ride is built into an ugly concrete pit at the center of Nickelodeon Universe, and the signage doesn't stand out much to indicate where the entry is.  The train seats 2 pods of 6 riders; these circular pods experience controlled spinning throughout the ride, which is fun. Because of the geometry of the surfboard train, the entire floor has to drop away to allow enough clearance between the car and the track.  There's also large gates on either side of the station that open/close, which further adds to the dispatch times.  The unloading process can be slow. At any rate, the surfboard-styled car makes roughly a dozen passes over linear synchronous motors (LSMs).  These propel riders up two identical 98ft spikes that nearly touch the glass ceiling above Nickelodeon Universe, hitting a top speed of 44mph.  The sensation is fun but fleeting--the entire ride lasts less than a minute. *TL;DR * Yes, it rolls, and yes, it coasts, but no, I still don't think this deserves to be considered a true roller coaster. For comparison, Vertical Velocity @ SFGAm in northern Illinois also looks like a 'U'-shaped halfpipe, but it launches up to 70mph and lasts a solid 90 seconds.  This ride is under power nearly the entire time and does the bare minimum of coasting. Avatar Airbender has a boring theme, short ride duration, and an unexciting layout.  I only rode this to get "credit" so I could add to my official roller coaster tally.  Though if I had my way, I wouldn't even classify this goofy thing as a bonafide coaster.  Hell, I coast more on my drive to work in the morning. If I found myself back at MoA and only had time for 3 rides, I'd skip this without question.

Wild Thing lives up to it's name. I almost quoted the Troggs to start this review but I couldn't…read morelive with myself so I went back and took it out. (It still applies though.) Running parallel to Highway 101, Wild Thing clearly announces itself as the headliner of Valleyfair. It was the first Morgan coaster, to my knowledge, that I've ridden, and I was a bit leery, thinking it might be annoying rough like old school Arrow coasters can be. While not buttery smooth like some more modern coasters are, Wild Thing passed my test in the turbulence department with flying colors. It has just enough shakiness to keep things interesting. Even the back row was completely enjoyable. The first hill, 207 feet, is a doozy, but the airtime off the second hill was the highlight for me. There was more airtime riding at the front, too, which I found interesting. It was a brisk day when we went to Valley fair with a light rain, and this green monster almost lost my gray winter skullie cap to a mighty updraft. On one of our 4 rides the rain picked up a bit and stung as it hit my face while we barreled through the course. That was actually enjoyable, in a strange masochistic way. The bunny hills after the mid course brake run (more like a 3/4ths course brake run) are a blast and the multi-hill tunnel at the end sets you up perfectly for mugging for the on-ride camera. Even if you don't shell out for key chains and whatnot don't miss stopping at the photography booth on your way out. I've never seen funnier on-ride photos. After just one ride, you can see where that flash in the dark is and do some crazy poses yourself. Wild Thing was never much more than a station wait. (Our first time riding the queue stretched just a little beyond the station.) One of the ride ops was a bit of a hard ass. He tried to walk of shame some kid off the train even after the guy with the measuring stick said she passed. Looking like a sheepish shoplifter, she passed again, barely, and the whole station erupted in cheers and applause. That same hard ass said I couldn't reride if there was anybody waiting at all, even if there was empty rows, after another employee had given moving to an empty row her blessing. Booo! He also made me take my hat off and, okay, he was probably right about that. Wild Thing is nearly flawless. My sole critique is that the transitions between the elements in the middle might be a little too long. That massive turn around looks really cool, and there's some nice hand chopper moments in the ensuing straight away but it's a little long between hills. Wild Thing puts this place on the map. We rode it 4 times, but I could have easily went for a dozen.

The ride was awesome it was flying going really fast and the drop is AMAZING I would deff recommendread more

Excalibur reminds me of a mine train ride only with more balls. Like Corkscrew, it's an old school…read moreArrow Dynamics creation so it's not modern precision smooth but I found it less clunky than that garish looper. It has a decent first hill and lots of fun twistiness after. It was a cool, slightly rainy day when my friends and I visited Valleyfair and we really got a nice breeze as Excalibur whipped us around. Excalibur has handsome trains with a nice logo and a cozy spot at the back of the park. (Maybe a bit too cozy. Rumor has it ol' Ex might get the axe so VF can expand Soak City and give the water park it's own entrance plaza and parking lot.) The ride ops on Excalibur were great on the day we visited. Maybe it's because it was opening weekend and the season was new and fresh, but they were doing a great job trying to not send trains out with empty seats and joking around to boot. One dude gave one rider a hard time for being a Cowboys fan and it was priceless. "Enjoy your ride on Excalibur everybody! Everybody except YOU, Cowboys fan! " (Do not reprimand this worker, Cedar Fair corporate types. That sh*t was hilarious!) I liked Excalibur but truth be told wouldn't be too upset if Valleyfair took it down. Well, maybe if it made lines for Renegade significantly longer. Cause Valleyfair has another coaster built atop wood that is exhilarating in a way Excalibur only hints at. We almost rode Excalibur a second time, mostly to enjoy the ride ops schtick but opted instead to to strap into the awesomeness that is Renegade. Get your Last Call on here at Excalibur but it's not marathon worthy like Renegade or Wild Thing.

These giant drop towers are usually the most nerve racking rides at amusement parks for me. (I've…read morenever been on one of those up charge bungee chord rides though.) It's all about the suspense. Funny thing is, about a fraction of a second into the drop I remember it's actually really fun and exhilarating, refreshing, too, if it's a hot, stuffy day and you get a breeze rushing past you. Still, they get me keyed up every time! Identical in height to it's counterpart at Cedar Point, this Power Tower has only columns opposed to four, sacrificing a second column where the hydraulics shoot you up the tower since everybody knows being propelled down is more fun, not to mention suspenseful. One column wasn't running the day we went and Power Tower was the only ride at VF that operations were a bit slow on. It's always nice to get up into the air and see the view from these things, especially in an unfamiliar area for me like Shakopee, MN. And I appreciate that the top is still adorned with Valleyfair in the old school, medieval font as opposed to the uninspiring official Cedar Fair font that all parks seem to have imposed on them these days. Ely and I had a blast on Power Tower while Dave chickened out, waiting for us, looking like the Unabomber on the rickety bridge leading up to PT.

It was my first time skiing in the first time in 11 years. I was a bit nervous, but it was so fun!…read moreThe ski pass is a bit on the pricey side for what the slopes are, but they are definitely a great beginner/intermediate level skier. Rentals were easy, and the staff are super nice and helpful. There were a bunch of older ladies that give you good tips and help for choosing boots and ski poles! I'd 100% come back.

Skii is good, but the real hidden gem is the spicy sausage and kale potato soup. I love soup, and…read morethis is really good soup, also the mac and cheese is good. Soup is like homemade