LONG TRAIN RUNNIN'…read more Mall of America's original roller coaster is still chugging along 33 years later. As fate would have it, my first coaster in over 5 years (an insanely long dry spell for me) wound up being something I'd ridden before the millennium, back when Nickelodeon Universe was called Knott's Camp Snoopy. Pepsi Orange Streak is a custom coaster made by Zierer and remains the German manufacturer's longest installation at 2,680ft.  It was specially built to fit inside (and snake around) the Mall of America's indoor amusement park, which it's been doing since 1992. This ride was known as "Ripsaw" until 2007, when a Nickelodeon rebrand changed the colors and theming from a logging company to....the official soft drink of MoA.  Aesthetically speaking, this is a big step backwards, as absolutely zero thought or effort went into any new theming. One circuit lasts 2-1/2 minutes (somewhat long for a coaster), although a good chunk of this time is spent meandering along the mid-course brake run that lies within the log flume's mountain façade. It reaches a top speed of 30mph, mild overall but great for families with younger kids. Orange Streak uses two booster wheel lift hills (not a standard chain lift), the first of which is 60ft tall with a modest 40ft drop.  I rode once in the front row and once in the back, and despite neither trip being particularly thrilling I felt more dynamics in the rear.  The ride only runs a single train, but it's a whopping 15 cars long! The unusually lengthy train does two things: it cranks through capacity, and it delivers a unique ride sensation depending on where you sit.  Since the train's center of gravity lies in the middle, the further towards the front you go, the more you'll notice being "pushed" around the track, while at the same time the back row is being "pulled" through the course.  The longer the train, the more noticeable these dynamics become; conversely, in the single cars on neighboring Spongebob's Rock Bottom Plunge, there's virtually no difference at all. My biggest criticism of the coaster is that it slams on the brakes at the end much more forcefully than it needs to (though I suppose the 15 cars generate a ton of momentum).  Given that the train is probably only going 10-20mph at that point, such an abrupt/painful stop on a family ride is no bueno. * TL;DR * Although I care not for the current name, I have plenty of love for this coaster itself, one of the OG attractions inside Nickelodeon Universe. Orange Streak is a solid starter coaster with S-tier reliability comparable to a nicely maintained Volvo.  That is to say, this thing could basically run indoors forever under the glass-and-steel ceiling at the Mall of America.  I hope it's still here in another 30 years. To me, this ride has been - and always will be - RIPSAW. Shove it, Pepsi!

HALFPIPE HEAD-SCRATCHER…read more This 'U'-shaped ride inside the Mall of America is technically a roller coaster, albeit a lame one. I was intrigued by Avatar Airbender, as I'd never ridden an Intamin 'Surfrider' coaster before.  The layout is nothing more than a large halfpipe, with the main car (styled to look like a giant surfboard) making repeated passes back and forth. This ride is built into an ugly concrete pit at the center of Nickelodeon Universe, and the signage doesn't stand out much to indicate where the entry is.  The train seats 2 pods of 6 riders; these circular pods experience controlled spinning throughout the ride, which is fun. Because of the geometry of the surfboard train, the entire floor has to drop away to allow enough clearance between the car and the track.  There's also large gates on either side of the station that open/close, which further adds to the dispatch times.  The unloading process can be slow. At any rate, the surfboard-styled car makes roughly a dozen passes over linear synchronous motors (LSMs).  These propel riders up two identical 98ft spikes that nearly touch the glass ceiling above Nickelodeon Universe, hitting a top speed of 44mph.  The sensation is fun but fleeting--the entire ride lasts less than a minute. *TL;DR * Yes, it rolls, and yes, it coasts, but no, I still don't think this deserves to be considered a true roller coaster. For comparison, Vertical Velocity @ SFGAm in northern Illinois also looks like a 'U'-shaped halfpipe, but it launches up to 70mph and lasts a solid 90 seconds.  This ride is under power nearly the entire time and does the bare minimum of coasting. Avatar Airbender has a boring theme, short ride duration, and an unexciting layout.  I only rode this to get "credit" so I could add to my official roller coaster tally.  Though if I had my way, I wouldn't even classify this goofy thing as a bonafide coaster.  Hell, I coast more on my drive to work in the morning. If I found myself back at MoA and only had time for 3 rides, I'd skip this without question.

If dogs could ride this, it'd be the Muttant Ninja Tuttle Ride. If cats could ride it, it'd be the…read moreNinja Tortie Ride. And if big African animals could ride, it'd be the Ninja Turtle Rhino. Sadly it's none of those things. At the Mall of America they are basically willing to rip off every cartoon and kids thing imaginable to make a ride out of it to try and get more people to fork out the money for their kids. It's pretty expensive. Some of the rides are pretty cool but they don't really have that much in common with the characters that they represent. It's more like just a gimmick-type thing. This one's a little bit out-of-date too but I guess the turtles sometimes come and go and they are pretty adorable so who doesn't love the turtles in general. Her kids definitely did, but I think they liked the Spongebob one better. Just watch out for the holy admission prices Batman.

These giant drop towers are usually the most nerve racking rides at amusement parks for me. (I've…read morenever been on one of those up charge bungee chord rides though.) It's all about the suspense. Funny thing is, about a fraction of a second into the drop I remember it's actually really fun and exhilarating, refreshing, too, if it's a hot, stuffy day and you get a breeze rushing past you. Still, they get me keyed up every time! Identical in height to it's counterpart at Cedar Point, this Power Tower has only columns opposed to four, sacrificing a second column where the hydraulics shoot you up the tower since everybody knows being propelled down is more fun, not to mention suspenseful. One column wasn't running the day we went and Power Tower was the only ride at VF that operations were a bit slow on. It's always nice to get up into the air and see the view from these things, especially in an unfamiliar area for me like Shakopee, MN. And I appreciate that the top is still adorned with Valleyfair in the old school, medieval font as opposed to the uninspiring official Cedar Fair font that all parks seem to have imposed on them these days. Ely and I had a blast on Power Tower while Dave chickened out, waiting for us, looking like the Unabomber on the rickety bridge leading up to PT.

Excalibur reminds me of a mine train ride only with more balls. Like Corkscrew, it's an old school…read moreArrow Dynamics creation so it's not modern precision smooth but I found it less clunky than that garish looper. It has a decent first hill and lots of fun twistiness after. It was a cool, slightly rainy day when my friends and I visited Valleyfair and we really got a nice breeze as Excalibur whipped us around. Excalibur has handsome trains with a nice logo and a cozy spot at the back of the park. (Maybe a bit too cozy. Rumor has it ol' Ex might get the axe so VF can expand Soak City and give the water park it's own entrance plaza and parking lot.) The ride ops on Excalibur were great on the day we visited. Maybe it's because it was opening weekend and the season was new and fresh, but they were doing a great job trying to not send trains out with empty seats and joking around to boot. One dude gave one rider a hard time for being a Cowboys fan and it was priceless. "Enjoy your ride on Excalibur everybody! Everybody except YOU, Cowboys fan! " (Do not reprimand this worker, Cedar Fair corporate types. That sh*t was hilarious!) I liked Excalibur but truth be told wouldn't be too upset if Valleyfair took it down. Well, maybe if it made lines for Renegade significantly longer. Cause Valleyfair has another coaster built atop wood that is exhilarating in a way Excalibur only hints at. We almost rode Excalibur a second time, mostly to enjoy the ride ops schtick but opted instead to to strap into the awesomeness that is Renegade. Get your Last Call on here at Excalibur but it's not marathon worthy like Renegade or Wild Thing.

Wild Thing lives up to it's name. I almost quoted the Troggs to start this review but I couldn't…read morelive with myself so I went back and took it out. (It still applies though.) Running parallel to Highway 101, Wild Thing clearly announces itself as the headliner of Valleyfair. It was the first Morgan coaster, to my knowledge, that I've ridden, and I was a bit leery, thinking it might be annoying rough like old school Arrow coasters can be. While not buttery smooth like some more modern coasters are, Wild Thing passed my test in the turbulence department with flying colors. It has just enough shakiness to keep things interesting. Even the back row was completely enjoyable. The first hill, 207 feet, is a doozy, but the airtime off the second hill was the highlight for me. There was more airtime riding at the front, too, which I found interesting. It was a brisk day when we went to Valley fair with a light rain, and this green monster almost lost my gray winter skullie cap to a mighty updraft. On one of our 4 rides the rain picked up a bit and stung as it hit my face while we barreled through the course. That was actually enjoyable, in a strange masochistic way. The bunny hills after the mid course brake run (more like a 3/4ths course brake run) are a blast and the multi-hill tunnel at the end sets you up perfectly for mugging for the on-ride camera. Even if you don't shell out for key chains and whatnot don't miss stopping at the photography booth on your way out. I've never seen funnier on-ride photos. After just one ride, you can see where that flash in the dark is and do some crazy poses yourself. Wild Thing was never much more than a station wait. (Our first time riding the queue stretched just a little beyond the station.) One of the ride ops was a bit of a hard ass. He tried to walk of shame some kid off the train even after the guy with the measuring stick said she passed. Looking like a sheepish shoplifter, she passed again, barely, and the whole station erupted in cheers and applause. That same hard ass said I couldn't reride if there was anybody waiting at all, even if there was empty rows, after another employee had given moving to an empty row her blessing. Booo! He also made me take my hat off and, okay, he was probably right about that. Wild Thing is nearly flawless. My sole critique is that the transitions between the elements in the middle might be a little too long. That massive turn around looks really cool, and there's some nice hand chopper moments in the ensuing straight away but it's a little long between hills. Wild Thing puts this place on the map. We rode it 4 times, but I could have easily went for a dozen.

The ride was awesome it was flying going really fast and the drop is AMAZING I would deff recommendread more

It was my first time skiing in the first time in 11 years. I was a bit nervous, but it was so fun!…read moreThe ski pass is a bit on the pricey side for what the slopes are, but they are definitely a great beginner/intermediate level skier. Rentals were easy, and the staff are super nice and helpful. There were a bunch of older ladies that give you good tips and help for choosing boots and ski poles! I'd 100% come back.

Skii is good, but the real hidden gem is the spicy sausage and kale potato soup. I love soup, and…read morethis is really good soup, also the mac and cheese is good. Soup is like homemade

Another park to check off the list. We love finding different parks to go to and to try all the…read moredifferent playground equipment. And it was another one we found by accident. Nice to find this one with a little wading pool on this hot sunny day. The wading pol is about 1.3 deep. Just the right depth for our little one. Two playgrounds. One for tots and one for the older kids. Of course our tot always wants to wander over to the bigger equipment. There are cute little smaller ones for the tots. A ship, a teeter thingy, sand crain etc. There are bathrooms. One stall and not those wretched port a johns, so this is a plus.

I love to take my son to this park, especially because we live in Linden Hills and it's very…read moreconvenient to walk to. The playground equipment could use some updating but with the wading pool in the summer and the ice skating in the winter there is always something to do.