Italian/Latin American fusion has officially burst its way onto the New Jersey food scene, and all…read moreI want to do is ask why.
Goodbye Vaporetto the Italian restaurant, hello Vaporetto/Patrona, the doubly named, odd fusion concept.
If you jump in your time machine and go back to early January, Vaporetto was a quiet Italian restaurant with pretty decent reviews, a nice view of the city, and good food.
Fast forward to now, and the classic white tablecloths and charming old school décor have been replaced with a plethora of neon art and lighting, as well as a gigantic red carpet backdrop when you walk in that you can take photos in front of, should the paparazzi follow you here.
We had a reservation for three at 7pm on a Tuesday night. Having eaten here once before I knew it probably wouldn't be busy (the reservation was purely for 100 OpenTable points) but I did not expect so few people. Two, to be exact, sitting a few tables away. They left 10 minutes after we sat down, leaving us the sole patrons for dinner on a Tuesday night.
We stared at the menu for a while, confused. Basically all of the Italian food is gone, and the menu now heavily favors the Latin American options.
Drinks? Red wine, Montepulciano. As Italian as it gets. Great prices, nice bottle selection, and both of the ones we ordered came perfectly chilled.
What better to pair with our Montepulciano than...chips and salsa? Nope. Not Italian. Super confusing for our taste buds. The chips were good but the salsa was too sweet. At one point we almost ordered a pitcher of sangria, but got a taste of it beforehand...also way too sweet.
Apps for all of us? We decided to embrace the fusion theme and ordered two Italian and one Latin American dish. Eggplant pasta, grilled calamari, and a trio of mofongo.
Working backwards, the mofongo filling was good (two meat and one shrimp) but the plantains were mashed and then fried or baked to look like cups in order to hold the filling. I've never had super crunchy mofongo before.
The eggplant pasta was okay; the eggplant itself was nicely cooked, but the sauce was again too sweet and far too oily. The calamari were an interesting shape, and nicely grilled, just a bit bland.
Three things that would have improved all three: more spice, less oil, lots of garlic.
We ordered dinner after the apps were cleared, and we all went for three fairly different options. We got the parrillada patrona (pretty much a gigantic plate of meats, hot dog included), pechuga rellena, and a whole bronzino.
Serving size? Gigantic. I was the one that got the fish, and though the sauce they put on it was bland and generally necessary, it was cooked very well and came with plenty of lemon for the meat. I love a good whole fish, and for $30, this was definitely worth having.
The waitstaff was nice, but service was super slow. We got in at 6:45 and ate at a normal pace when food was delivered to us, but we didn't get out until almost 9. We were legitimately the only table there, so it's not like there was a backup in the kitchen...but we weren't in a hurry, so it didn't bother us too much.
The theme of the night? Neon. As you can see from my photos, everything is highlighted in this odd neon glow from the lighting that spans the entirety of the restaurant.
Vaporetto/Patrona, what are you? I came here for a stuffed artichoke, chicken parmigiana, and maybe some tartufo, but was disappointed to see those Italian classics are now completely absent from the menu. Your Italian roots, your staples, your bread and butter (and yes, literally, your bread and butter) have been abandoned in favor of an odd fusion concept that i'm still a little confused about.