Now, I know what you're thinking: "Segways... really? Those super lame two-wheeled things that should have been left in the early aughts where they belong, with frosted tips, puka shell necklaces, and Dane Cook?" Believe me, I thought the same thing. So I'll admit that I had my doubts when my sister-in-law responded to the question: "what would be the best way to spend our last few hours in the city of brotherly cheesesteaks?" with "A Segway tour" (well, obviously...). At this point, my only frame of reference for Segways was that they were a funny prop in Kevin James movies and didn't the President fall off one once? No way were they actually a fun way to get around.
I have never been more wrong.
Let's go ahead and get this out of the way right now: there is literally no better way to explore a new city (at a reasonable speed) than by Segway. So forget what you've heard about Segways being the "dorkiest way to get from point A to B" or that they're only for the "socks and sandals crowd." Listen, haters gonna hate, y'all, so better take their opinions with a healthy dose of skepticism than to miss out on a whole lot of two-wheeled fun.
Trust me. Just give it a chance, and I think you'll agree that Segways are the coolest form of personal transportation since the penny-farthing or the tandem bicycle. Move over motorcycles and hoverboards, there's a new kind in town, and he traded in his leather jacket and ray-bans for a fanny-pack and sensible shoes. No explanation needed. Just roll up on your Segway and onlookers will be instantly jealous. Every. Forking. Time.
Our tour began promptly at 2:07ish PM, after finishing our safety video and instructional lesson. You see, we each had to prove that we could maintain control without flying off our new steeds and into hospital beds. We began as you might expect: wobbly at first, but steadily improved. So it took some time before we all passed our driver's test. But we did, to much applause (our own, but still..), without breaking any bones (thankfully) or windows (you're welcome, Philly by Segway), which is a miracle given our group's collective grasp on the whole "hand-eye coordination" thing. But then, secure in our new abilities, and helmets, we were off.
Our fearless leader, Barry (who was brilliant, by the way, ask for him if you can), waited until we were already outside to tell us we'd be spending most of our time in the streets, rather than on the sidewalks as any reasonable person might have assumed. This turned to be a good decision too since it didn't really give us enough time for the terror of his statement to sink in before we were out amongst the cars. We sped through the city streets at a heart-pounding 8 mph, weaving in and out of traffic, while our guide pointed out landmarks and quizzed us on who may have been involved in their construction (Protip: when in doubt, just yell "Ben Franklin," and you'll probably be fine). We saw the murals and Christ Church, Society Hill, Independence Hall, and some guy (I'll call him "Big Sal") crooning Christmas carols from a folding table outside of a bar. Magic.
Did we almost wipe out on the cobblestone streets? You bet. Did we almost get run over at intersections? Sure. Did I wave to people as we road through the Italian Market like the Queen? Of course, I did. Zipping by, single-file, like a parade, we turned heads everywhere we went, but instead of road rage and ridicule, we were met with camera flashes and smiles.
There are many ways to explore a new city, but there's only one that I'd take the time to review online. Touring Philly on a Segway was a blast, and I'd recommend it to anyone who visits, and even those who already live here.
Because Segways are cool. read more