Puking Dragon is the perfect archetype of the ubiquitous Chinese restaurant that relies upon an ignorant consumer base to survive. The four star average is baffling. The other reviewers are out of their minds! I went to Puking Dragon twice. The first time, the entire order came out of the kitchen within 8 minutes, despite the restaurant being filled to capacity. The shrimp was cooked to death, the scallops were rubbery, and the green beans were greasy and bland; furthermore, the prep-time tells me that the food is reheated.
The second time, I placed an order for take out while shopping at Ralphs, approximately 200 meters away. I arrived four minutes later, and my order was already sitting at the counter. The meal cost $33 for two dishes and a small order of brown rice. The food radiated heat from within as though it were pre-cooked hours before the dinner service and subsequently warmed in a microwave. The "Twin Mushroom Chicken" was a bland, re-heated mess that should be renamed "Twin MISTAKE Chicken." The other item I received was not even what I had ordered!
The person who incorrectly took my order on the phone is an incomprehensibly cruel, powerful, ravishing, and mesmerizing ice queen who meticulously engineers darkness and despair, taking great delight in shattering the stout hearts of men! She is a true matriarch; she is not dark, but beautiful and terrible as the dawn! She is as tempestuous as a fiery wok and stronger than the foundations of the water chestnut! All shall love her and despair! (Please do not sue me, New Line Cinema!)
The only rational explanation for the four star rating is the location. Puking Dragon is predominantly frequented by locals with a median age of 50. Chinese people do not eat at Puking Dragon, save for the unwary fool such as myself. I stumbled upon that place by accident, and I will never return. Dana Point is similar to Mordor in the sense that fine dining and culture are nonexistent, locals are as ugly as orcs, and the light of civilization does not shine brightly. I cannot compare Puking Dragon to a REAL 4-star restaurant such as Din Tai Fung in Arcadia, a branch of a Michelin Star restaurant in Hong Kong where every single hand-made dumpling is finished with 18 pleats before being weighed. I cannot compare Puking Dragon to P.F. Changs in La Jolla, where a spacious, classy dining room and cleverly-designed Westernized menu make it impossible to get a table during peak hours. I cannot even compare Puking Dragon to McDonalds, where $33 will at least get you 160 Chicken McNuggets, with their 7.99 40-piece deal. I seriously had better meals way back in the day at the dining halls at UCLA, a place where the meatloaf gives you food poisoning!
Be warned, hungry diner. Chinese cuisine in America will never again reach its previous glory as long as evil places such as Puking Dragon exist. Mordor ... uhh, I mean, Dana Point will eventually unleash hordes of orcs upon us all! If you eat this food, you will be taken by the dark powers, tortured and mutilated until you beg for Imodium A-D! Beware! CAVEAT EMPTOR! read more