I was referred to Dr. Essig by my GP, whom I adore.
Yesterday, I was set to get my IUD inserted. I bought the thing out of pocket since insurance wouldn't cover it, did lots of research, talked to my two friends who had IUDs inserted recently (both are single women without children) about it, and was rarin' to go. Unfortunately, Dr. Essig is a sexist who doesn't trust his patients choices.
I get to the Dr's office and was in good spirits, excited that I was going to be able to have sex with my husband again soon. I go in to the office, and Dr. Essig has barely introduced himself when he heaves a sigh, sits down, and starts mumbling that he doesn't know how to tell me this/where to begin. He then starts telling me how up until 10 years ago they wouldn't give non-married child-free (my word) people IUD's at all b/c of infection risks. (Aside: the reason this is not the case anymore is b/c medical science discovered ages ago that the risks are no different if you have or haven't had a child).
Staying positive, I tell him that, well, I am married, and I have been on birth control for nearly 10 years, so I'm not concerned about changing my mind.
He then goes in to a spiel about how some young 25 y.o. girl came in for one once, and how that just breaks his heart b/c she's a peer of his son, age wise, and that it's just so sad. Sensing the sexism, I tried to shut him down, still nicely and positively, trying to give him the hint to just put the thing in me already. I tell him the reason I am getting an IUD, and Paragard specifically, is b/c I have a family history of heart conditions, and that raised a red flag to my doctor (his peer, so you'd think he'd respect her referral), and she suggested Paragard b/c it is hormone free.
This still wasn't enough for him, tho. He then starts in with scare tactics, telling me how I'm going to be bleeding a lot more and longer, how cramping is so bad, etc. But he's really trying to sell me on not getting this IUD. At this point I'm getting irritated, b/c everything he is telling me, I know. So I tell him, that yes, I took 4 Ibuprofen before I got to the office in prep for the pain, and have a large jar of it in my purse. He tries to keep telling me about the pain and I interrupt him and say how 2 of my girlfriends got IUDs in the last 5 months, one of which got the Paragard, and I know all about the cramping and bleeding, I have done my research both online and through my friends and doctor, and I know what I'm getting in to.
Finally he begrudging starts to put on his gloves to give me an exam before inserting the IUD, and takes another heaving sigh and mumbles something like, "Well, I guess if you decide you want to have a baby you can always get it out". Then he starts my exam, and while he's trying to figure out which way my uterus tilts, I'm getting pretty irritated. On one hand, I'm already here, I've taken the time off work, I purchased the IUD, found time in my schedule (I have two jobs) to make an appointment, I should just go through with it.
But then I come to my senses and I stop him. I tell him that he has been really unprofessional, and that I am not comfortable having him do this procedure on me. I tell him that no doctor should make a patient feel the way he made me feel, and that if he was actually concerned for me as a patient, he would have asked me a few questions about myself and why I was getting the IUD before trying to convince me to have babies. I tell him he clearly doesn't respect me or my choices. He comes back with some lame excuse that spurs me on more, to which I reiterate that if that was genuinely his concern as a medical professional, he would have asked me questions instead of assuming I was doing this on a whim and that I didn't know what I was getting in to. At this point he finally got around to admitting that "well, if anything goes wrong it's always the doctors fault so I have to protect myself legally." At this point I gave him a really hard "Are you kidding me?" look and said, "Excuse me, but my father was a lawyer. I understand what precautions need to be taken in order to protect yourself legally, but again, if that was actually your concern, you could have found out more about me, the patient, before assuming I was looking to sue you. I am perplexed at why my doctor referred me to you, and I am going to advise her not to refer any other patients to you in the future. I will be getting my IUD inserted by another doctor."
He never once apologized, but just looked at me almost with satisfaction that he "won" and I wasn't getting an IUD.
My doctor has since apologized for his behavior and it looking for a female OBGYN to insert my IUD. read more