5 stars for a McDonald's? Yup. First, let's establish that this is a McDonald's, not Bobby Flay's Burger Palace, or some world's best organic salad bistro. Got it? Good.
To the morons reviewing this place writing about vegan crap and salad, I hope you get explosive diarrhea. Should I go to a vegan joint and complain there is no Fried Chicken and Hot Dogs? No. I'd be a total A-hole, right? Yep, now you know what you are, and how most people see your review, dummies.
So I'm driving for what seems to be hours over a sun and sand blasted terrain looking for something to eat, and hoping to find a clean restroom in an air conditioned building that marvels in comparison to a gas station port a potty.
Did you know it's 92 F'n degrees here today? It's September 30th, HELLOooo, summer is supposed to be over! My knuckles are getting burnt from holding the steering wheel and I need to get off this road to hell and back to the PNW. Is that salvation I see, yes, yes it is. Behold, one of the most recognizable symbols in America, the Golden Arches. Do you know why I'm so excited to find this Micky D's, other than it being the only convenient fast food place in this small town? Because I know what McDonald's is, and should be. It's a safety net, a favorite blanket, an expectation, a familiar smell, a menu I know without looking, a tool that never fails you, and I have arrived!
This McDonald's is just what I needed, and more. As soon as I walk in the cold air hits me, aaaaahhhhh. It's looks like McDonald's, it smells like McDonald's, and it sounds like McDonald's. Just like going back to visit a relative that you only see every few years or so and secretly hope everything froze in time and stayed the same. I head to the restroom and notice the floors are clean and there is no trash laying around. The restroom is clean, stocked, graffiti free, and crisp. Finding this on a road trip in the middle of the desert is worth 5 stars on it's own. Oh, and they have Men's AND a Women's restroom! Thank my lucky stars because I firmly believe men and women should keep their bathroom activities apart. You know I'm right!
Now for the next challenge, getting some grub. I hope there are no young pretentious hipster types at the counter. Oh snap, clear eyed, young smiling faces at the counter. Holy sh*t, have I died and gone to heaven?
I order some food and realize I forgot my reading glasses. I ask the young lady if she can recommend a cold coffee drink and without hesitation, without looking, and without a stutter or a pause, she begins to explain my choices, and also tells me her favorite!
The tables, floors, windows, and walls were all clean in the eating area. No trash overflowing from the containers.
My food was hot, fresh, and yes, tasted like MCDONALD'S. One thing I've always loved about McDonald's is those hot salty fresh fries, oh ya baby, get some! I haven't had a double quarter pounder with cheese in over 2 years, but guess what, it tastes just like I remember and I love it! There is no tofu, no ramen pho bahn mi, bahn you, bah humbug, whatever, no nuts n seeds, seaweed, gluten free cokes, yeastless bread, or special order vegan F'n salads, get over it snowflakes, or don't come here!
Sometimes things don't actually have to be the very best, they just need to be the best at that moment.
Thank you Micky D's, I love you.... read more