Oh boy, where to start? How to describe my experience?
Confusion?
Disappointment?
More confusion?
It was a mix of all. I'm going to do my best to tell you the tale of Max's in Bloomfield:
Once upon a time (this past weekend), in a far away land (Bloomfield), a party of five (not the same as the 90s show) came famished to the fabled Max's Restaurant. Prior to this location, only one Max's existed in the area, in the ever further away land of Jersey City. This location being closer and the food of the Jersey City Max's being loved, the opening of this restaurant was a welcome gift.
Or so it seemed....
The party arrived to the location and were seated within 15 minutes, with a family of four behind them. With a wait of 15 minutes, they were shocked to see... 9 empty tables! Why did it take so long to seat them? And why were they seated at a 4 top when there was 5 of them and 9 empty tables? Also, why was another party of 5 seated at a 4 top combined with a 2 top (which seems like the appropriate configuration for a party of 5). The space was cramped for our mighty 5 protagonists but they kept a positive attitude.
They kept it that was until they realized it had been sitting for 15 minutes with their menus closed and no one came to take their formal requests for food (their order). There were two men standing in the dining room, ahh, the mighty knights on guard duty of a kingdom. We beckoned to them to order and they said, "Hold on, I'll get your waiter." Our waiter wasn't there? They seemed understaffed if there was only the two knights (busboys) and one waiter?
Suddenly, as if a mighty tempest of people landed, there was about 8-10 knights and ladies in waiting on the floor (waiter, waitresses and busboys). So, they weren't understaffed... where were all of them before? What were they doing? Why wasn't anyone being served? Why wasn't anything happening? They all made it look like they were busy but with all these people around, our requests for food still were not being taken.
Eventually, someone came, and he looked annoyed to even be in our presence. Perhaps he felt overwhelmed. By what, I'm not sure? There were 5 tables and there was another waiter. He took our our orders and the food came out (surprisingly) quickly.
The cramped table proved to be a mighty foe for our five, with one diner having to eat with a plate on his lap. The food was just okay. Nothing came as decreed on the menu. (***Okay, I'm failing hard at trying to make this sound like a tale... so back to it sounding like a real review. Apologies, to all, for my terrible story telling.***) The lechon kawali sisig tasted like lechon adobo that was put on a sisig plate. It did not come out sizzling nor did it taste like sisig. The bangus sisig tasted like the Dead Sea (but at least it sizzled). The crab fried rice tasted bitter. The fried chicken was dry and the fries with it had no salt. The crispy pata was decent. The bulalo and the halo-halo were the only truly enjoyable things and those two aren't enough to make me to ever want to go back.
I'm still confused,with all the staff working, how could the service be that terrible!? I suppose it's lack of a floor manager. Everyone seemed confused and lacking direction. Maybe it's because they're still a new restaurant, I'm not sure. With all the people working, I was upset that we had so many dirty dishes on our table. No one came to clear our table as we finished and the staff just stood around staring off into space. We kept juggling dishes and moving them around, stacking them. We would try to get the staff's attention and it was hit or miss but even if we got them, they seemed to be confused:
Example 1: Ask for calamansi drink and water for table (this is after waiting a long time to order then having finished ordering). Waiter asks busboy to get water and drink. Wait ensues. Busboy comes back with calamansi and one water. No one else has drinks. He does not return. Need to ask for water for whole table. Returns with water for whole table.
Example 2: Order 2 halo-halos. 2 halo-halos come out from kitchen by busboy. Halo-halos proceed to pass our table and walk past us to the front door. Halo-halos pass us again and around the dining room. Halo-halos pass us again back toward front door. Wave at waiter who uncomfortably gives us halo-halos and says, "Sorry, I was looking for your waiter." WHY!??! We are right there! Why is my food dancing all around the dining room when you know the table is for us?! Is there a caste system of waitstaff at this restaurant!? I don't find you untouchable, Mr. Busboy. Give me my (@*$)#()*@ food!
As a kicker, with all the staff, the bathroom was gross. If no one is serving, or clearing dishes, why is no one cleaning the bathroom? What are these people doing?! I'm still astonished and I'll never go back. I have much, much more to write but Yelp limits my characters.
TLDR: Go to Jersey City. read more