Ah, Guy Fieri, the spiky-haired pseudo enfant terrible of the culinary world. A "dive" isn't worth our patronage unless he pulls from his grab-bag of "bro"-speak catchphrases and christens it a "Righteous trip down to flavor town" or some variant thereof. Why am I so down on Guy, you ask? After all, he's just an annoying TV personality who visits hidden gems and puts them on the map. That's precisely why I'm no fan of the man. Quite often, soon after a "DDD" episode airs, hordes of foodies (you know the type -- irritatingly bubbly Instagram narcissists) will flock to said establishment, overwhelm the tiny place, deem the food "meh," leave hastily written negative reviews, and ultimately sink the business. I have seen this fate befall several local restaurants, and it pisses me off.
But enough of my rant; you're here to read a pithy, comprehensive review from yours truly, undoubtedly the best writer to ever grace this increasingly lamentable platform. Well, dear reader, that's exactly what I plan to do. Mac & Ernie's -- despite being technically "put on the map" by Signore Fieri in the very first episode of "DDD" -- has somehow managed to avoid the "Fieri Curse" and remain a true hidden gem, a culinary oasis in Tarpley, Texas, a Hill Country town the size of a postage stamp.
The mood at Mac & Ernie's is bright and cheerful from the moment you enter the door of what appears to be an early 20th-century home repurposed into a restaurant. Expect plenty of warm, ingratiating small-town hospitality from the ladies behind the counter, all of whom are keen to offer recommendations. The same energy radiates from the open kitchen, with the cooks bopping along cheerfully to a mix of 80s and 90s alt-rock.
That good cheer translates to every item I have ordered across multiple visits. The heaping fried catfish platter is everything a catfish platter should be: meaty, clean fish with a crunchy, well-seasoned cornmeal batter that sticks to the filets. The Philly cheesesteak is a marvel of thinly cut strips of juicy sirloin mixed with caramelized onions and bell peppers and plenty of gooey pepper Jack cheese. A hearty, well-marbled, hand-cut ribeye proved to be a winning dinner option (and a great value at $22), but the star of the show that evening was a whole Bandera quail slathered in a sweet, smoky ancho chili sauce. Whatever you order for dinner, add one of these bad boys to your plate; it is well worth the extra $9!
The "DDD Burger" (ugh--that name) is indeed a...um..."one-way trip to flavor town" and easily M&E's most celebrated item. The tender, slightly earthy red deer (sourced locally from Ingram and ground fresh on the premises) works in tandem with the pungent blue cheese crumbles and the acidity and sweetness from the caramelized balsamic onions. Even my dad -- a stickler for plain, old-fashioned American beef burgers -- scarfed down every morsel of this multi-note alchemical delight. The accompanying fries were executed by a true master of the Maillard reaction: soaked in water to remove excess starch and fried twice to produce a crispy, perfectly desiccated fry.
Were I to nitpick, I might point out that the food is served on flimsy paper plates with plastic utensils. Even a tender, marbled ribeye begs for proper cutlery, so I struggled and occasionally pierced the bottom of the soggy, juice-logged paper plate. I suspect the decision to use disposable plates and silverware was a cost-cutting measure, but I would be happy to pay an additional buck or two per dish to enjoy the convenience of real plates and silverware. But that is indeed nitpicking.
If you live anywhere within 100 miles of Tarpley, you owe it to yourself to try Mac & Ernie's. I've conveyed more in this seven-paragraph review than Guy said in his rambling, jump cut-laden "DDD" segment, so perhaps the owners will see fit to paint over the "Guy was here!" decal on the wall and replace it with my handsome, brooding face and the quote, "Ry was here...and nearly fainted from heat stroke while talking to dead people at Tarpley Cemetery afterwards." No, I cannot pen a single review without mentioning instrumental trans-communication. read more