I would like to begin this review by saying that I am an avid fan of bar pizza. Also, let me give all of you a warning in saying that I didn't actually consume the pizza that this establishment produces during this particular encounter, though I've had it before.
My finest compatriot and I set out on a mission for delicious bar pizza at a local cafe in the town I live in, which offers a COPIOUS amount of toppings and combinations, keep that in mind, and is also the height of tastiness. When we arrived at said cafe, they told us they had run out of pizza cheese, which I personally find atrocious for a pizza joint, but that is besides the point. So this was strike number one for my wonderful night of pizza.
We desperately tried one more place that offers bar pizza, but did not feel like being harassed by 40-something divorcees with motorcycle licenses.
All-in-all, Lynwood's was our third choice.
After a lengthy drive to Randolph, we walked into the "cafe" and immediately got stared down by a family sitting directly in front of the door. The interior design of this place instantly struck me as "sub-par" and it is very poorly equipped for those who suffer from Claustrophobia (not that I do, it's just a point I am making.)
This was my first time actually walking into the restaurant itself, and no one greeted me, no one told me where I should sit, only after standing there awkwardly in front of the soul-piercing door family and the entire staff, we finally started to walk to a booth, at which point a waitress told us to "Sit wherever" Unstructured and messy, if you ask me.
I sat down at my table wondering where in the sweet lord's name I would acquire a menu, when I realized it was a very short, afterthought of a menu placement on the back of a tiny little plastic beer card. I was appalled to see the very limited amount of options and pizza toppings; not a pineapple or hot pepper in sight. Then, as I am angrily reviewing this sorry excuse for a menu, I notice that in minuscule, nearly white print at the very bottom of this "menu" are the words "CASH ONLY."
I'm sorry, but I was under the impression that it is 2011, going on 2012. Does that mean anything? Anything at all? It is the age of plastic indulgence and careless spending, why does this place feel so entitled that they can refuse us credit/debit card holders? Prejudice.
Moving on, the waitress comes over, clearly unhappy, and I ask her if they have an Automated Teller Machine on the premises, assuming that if they only accept cash, they must have a way for the plastic money to turn into paper money. She says "No." very short and very rude, to which I reply "And it's cash only?" and she responds "Yes. There's an ATM down the street." pointing in some unknown direction. So my friend and I decided that we would order our pizza and then travel to this ATM machine so that we could trade paper for pizza.
I pull out of this parking lot, trying to head in the direction that the waitress had pointed in to pursue my endeavor. I drive for a good 6 minutes, traveling further and further into Suburbia, no convenience store or ATM in sight. Again, prejudice, lack of structure, and messiness.
So I finally turn around after I've already started fearing for my life, go in a different direction and come upon another pizza shop called "Famous Pizza"
Clearly, if something is famous it is worth my time, so my friend and I walk in to check it out and ended up ordering THEIR pizza, because they live in the 21st century and accept credit cards. Not to mention, the abundant amount of toppings and options they displayed for me on their gigantic, lit-up, menu sign. They made us feel godly. As did their pizza.
We did not, and will not, be returning to Lynwood's.
Poor service, bad location, prejudice, lack of structure, overpriced, and dirty.
One star for an all around harrowing experience. read more