If you play with your boba then this can be your TOY CHA
If you want a lovely drink, this can bring you JOY CHA
If your name is Scheider, this can be your ROY CHA
And if you're in Southbelt, get yourself to KOI CHA
If you are a vegetarian, just ask for SOY CHA
Don't be shy, just say what you want, don't be COY CHA
You'll get big and strong just like Brad Pitt in TROY CHA
And all because you came to get your boba on at KOI CHA
If you're not actually a boba fan, it's all a PLOY CHA
But if you are, you'll love this one, cause it's the Real MCCOY CHA
It's the best Boba shop from Ipanema to ILLINOIS CHA
So when in Houston, you have to go to KOI CHA
WHAT
One of Houston's loveliest Boba shops, and one which I am proud to call myself a regular visitor to. The owners are wonderful people, and the drinks they make are wonderful too.
Paul Simon said there's no need to be Koi, Roy. But there is a need to be Koi Cha, especially if you're in Houston and want Boba, and that's regardless of whether your name's Roy or not.
One of the best Boba shops in the Houston area, especially if you look at all the ones that aren't in the Chinatown area. Koi Cha is really dominating the Southbelt area in terms of excellent Boba, and wonderful ownership too, and delicious drinks, and definitely some of the most awesome and memorable decor of any boba shop that we've been to in the Houston area. They even sell their super cute boba plush toys, way too adorable!
If you date a lineman then it might be WICHI-KOI-TA
If you want a lot of wives, it's probably KOI-UTAH
If you wanna be a fancy bird, it's KOI-MACAW
But if you want the best boba, come to KOI CHA
And if you want a homophobic World Cup, it's KOI QATAR
If you wanna Take On Me, it's probably KOI A-HA
If you wanna not have a baby, just KOI WITHDRAW
But if you want the best boba, come to KOI CHA
And if you want desire, then it's named KOI STREETCAR
If you want more kitty cat pix, it's KOI PAW
If you're Thin Lizzy, then it's Whiskey In The KOI JAR
But if you want the best boba, come to KOI CHA
If you want a more liberal Iran, it's KOI SHAH
But if you want a less liberal Iran, it's KOI FATWA
And if you're in Iran, it really isn't JEFFREE KOI STAR
But if you want the best boba, come to KOI CHA
If you wanna get drunk, go instead to a KOI BAR
If you live nowhere near Houston, this location's too KOI FAR
Unless you don't mind a nice ride in your KOI CAR
To come and get a Boba here at KOI CHA
If they get all hipster they might serve drinks in a Mason KOI JAR
If the sharp end of the straw cuts your face, you'll get a KOI SCAR
I like to take slutty picture here, along with my Porn KOI STAR
But if you want the best bobas, come to KOI CHA
WHAT
Koi Cha. We're definitely talking about one of the better places in the Greater Houston area for Boba. We're also talking about some of the nicest owners of any of the places that I've been, and I look forward to coming back here many times in the future for this reason.
Now for some more rapping, but while you're reading, get here ASAP. But don't crash. Don't text and drive. Or read Yelp and drive. Or something.
If you wanna pamper yourself, it's KOI SPA
If you spend time with your mother, it's KOI MA
If you read my Yelp stuff and laugh, it's KOI HA
If you wanna go get drunk, it's KOI BAR
If you wanna then get arrested, drive a KOI CAR
If you wanna show your underwear, it's KOI BRA
If you wanna only date the rich, get with KOI BOURGEOIS
If you wanna do it drunk, try KOI STELLA ARTOIS
If you wanna go to the dentist, say KOI AAAH
If you wanna get with a pirate, it's KOI ARRRR
If you wanna get with my Barbie, it's KOI AHHHH
But if you want the best boba drinks, come to KOI CHA
And if I pull my d*** out then... oh crap I went too KOI FAR.
WHAT