It feels like some sort if scam. Against my better judgement I bite on an unsolicited email which screams "6 courses. £29.99". I pay up front before reading the fly shit which details which days and what hours I can actually take advantage of this offer.
Nine months later we find ourselves bowling through the eerie Sunday morning streets of Central London in order to take advantage of this offer before it runs out.
As a born and bred Londoner, I like the eeriness of Central London on Sunday. But I can see why it gives others the creeps. Kibako is unprepossessing from the outside. The door is locked when we arrive at 12 noon. We push harder. A waitress scurries to the door to turn the key and let us in. I suspect we could get coshed on the head at any moment but there are others inside. Safety in numbers.
Inside, the eye is taken by a big fake blossom tree which wends its way through the restaurant. More deceit. Is anything real in this here deal? We can't help but notice the staff are all Indian. Odd for a Japanese restaurant. Spidey senses a-tingling now. Still, they are all charming and the blossom tree does it's three card trick of distracting the eye from the slight raggedness of the place.
But whilst central London is largely desolate, Kibako is a hive of activity. Every table is taken.
Soon after we're seated our first course arrives. Octopus croquette. A neat orb sitting on a good sauce with bonito flakes for decoration and taste. I'm not convinced a croquette of any sort is strictly Japanese. Are these tricksters making it up as they go along? But the croquette is good. Meaty pieces of octopus in a crispy ball. A winning start.
The omasake grid comes next. A box consisting of 12 smaller boxes each containing a dish with something to nibble. It looks pretty. An adult pick and mix no less. I dive in on the grilled aubergine. It's unctuous and well seasoned. A silky delight. Butterfish is similarly textured and tasty. Salmon tartare is topped with grated parmesan. All sorts of wrong. Not wrong enough that I didn't derive some pleasure from it. But not in the top five boxes. Two good slivers of sashimi, one salmon, one tuna, a courgette round in a sweet and sharp vinaigrette, some well seasoned tofu, a chicken gyoza and a sushi roll all keep us busy peering and prodding and choosing and honing our chopstick skills. It's fun. If I'm being scammed, I'm enjoying it so far.
The next course looks pretty. A snowy topping of crisp adorning two large pieces of sushi roll, slathered in what I think is hoisin sauce. Chunks of prawn inside. I am no sushi aficionado but it feels like sushi for fat westerners. They know their audience! Lots of mayo, loads of sweet sauce, a crunch of batter. All designed to satiate rather than titillate like the omasake box. I like them because I'm a gannet. But they lack the finesse of the last course.
Wagyu beef and mackerel on rice next with a tempura prawn, a cup of good miso soup and a seaweed salad. What I'd describe as a bento box. That's on top of the box of 12 nibbles we've already had and the roll and the croquette. It's a lot of food. And the food isn't bad by any means. Three thinly sliced pieces of rich creamy Wagyu. The mackerel a well salted companion. The prawn has bite and the batter serves as more than a casing to steam the flesh. It's crispy and tasty. The soup and salad cleanse the palate nicely. At this point I'm wishing we didn't order the supplemented dragon roll they upsold us. It was similarly laden with sauce and crunch but we didn't need it.
The last course is a simple youzu posset which is sweet and sharp and a good ending.
So we weren't scammed after all. We scammed them more like. Thirty notes for this lot is mad. We tugged on the locked door to get out and the waitress didn't club us over the head and take our wallets. She turned the key and waved us farewell. It's not authentic. It's not glamorous. Fake it to make it stuff. But you cannot argue with what you get for £30. None of it is bad, a lot of It is good. They are packing us in and good luck to these resourceful Indians giving Japanese food to English people. The blossom may be fake but the bill was real and something of a steal. read more