Wednesday, November 08, 2006…read more
Houle's is for Fools
For all those who don't know the exact story or would like reference the event as one of the most all-time travesties in family dining here's how it all went down
11:45pm the night before- Craig throws out a comment like "hey that restaurant Houle's isn't bad, great omelets and a nice selection of underaged waitress" I think to myself, why venture away from the Egg & I where we have all held strong in battling hangovers; however, I am getting sick and tired of receiving one splenda for my 44 oz iced coffee.
9:40am- we enter Houle's family restaurant. Seems nice, they have a deli. Shaggy considers just getting a lb of deli meat for breakfast instead. They seat us near the bathrooms.
9:47am- Shaggy declares he never wants his house to look like this restaurant. The wallpaper has a criss-crossing blue, resembling a miswrapped attempt at a gift for Easter. Shaggy declares the wallpaper is making him nauseous. The waitress comes over, looking like a washed-out sourpuss from '79. Shaggy tries to order a bloody mary.
9:50am- Waitress immediately responds denying the bloody mary, Shaggy comes back with an order for a large tomato juice (drink 1) and a water (drink 2). Jamie orders a bagel, 2 eggs scrambled, an orange soda, and a water. Kyle orders a vegetable omelet with absolutely no onions and a water. I order the western omelet, of course with raisin toast. Nobody ever even thinks of raisin toast, even the waitress. Always wheat or white, but never raisin. Sarah orders a vegetable omelet with egg-whites (why even bother?) With no mushrooms. Shaggy orders eggs benedict (of course, and it was not even on the menu, how did he even know to order this?) and a side of the hash casserole, and another water (drink 3). The waitress affirms the casserole is excellent.
9:58am- Wondering where our food is. Haven't seen anyone in 8 minutes except for a guy visiting the bathroom wearing a top-hat, could have been Abe Lincoln. He definitely heard me make the Abe Lincoln joke.
10:05am- Our food comes out. Jamie's eggs look like caulking. Kyle receives an omelet with no mushrooms, but it has onions. Kyle claims the omelet has extra onions. My food is fine, and the raisin toast was excellent. Sarah receives an egg-white omelet with no onions, but definitely mushrooms. Apparently there has been a bit of a mix-up. Shaggy immediately tries his eggs benedict. "Mediocre hollandaise sauce" he exclaims. Who has enough hollandaise sauce to be able to distinguish between them? I think to myself that shaggy should have just gone with the lb of deli meat, maybe it would have been enough food to shut him up for the whole meal. Waitress immediately scurries away after dropping off food.
10:10am- Waitress returns to the table. The mix-up is disclosed to the waitress about the two omelets. The waitress takes the two plates into the kitchen.
10:11am- Waitress returns to the table after one minute. I exclaim how quick this whole exchange was. Kyle's omelet coincidentally has the same amount of ketchup in the exact same place as his last omelet. Here comes the essential meat of this story. Apparently customer service has gone straight down the toilet, especially at Houle's Family Restaurant. In the one minute in between the waitress picking up the plates, bringing them into the kitchen, and returning them back to the paying customers, an extreme travesty occurred. Someone had somehow scooped out the interior contents of both omelets, and pulled the old switch-a-roo. Kyle's new omelet consisted of the existing egg, filled with cold uncooked contents topped with a raw piece of cheese, similar with Sarah's. The new omelets looked like some kind toxic operation. No comments necessary on Jamie's scrambled caulking.
10:28am- Kyle picks up the two plates, carries them into the kitchen, asks the food be deducted from the bill, no hard feelings, they were just completely inedible.
10:31am- The owner, let's assume his last name is Houle?, comes out to face our table. He starts of his rant by claiming he's made 60 omelets today, and he's wondering why 2 were sent back from the same table. He also wonders why we will not pay for them. He's basically at the point of screaming at us, the customers. Kyle explains to him the contents of his omelet, and tells him to go look at them. He walks away yelling that he has never seen people so rude in his life. I decide to explain to him how local businesses are only successful by building relationships with customers. He won't have it.
10:41am- Followed by a state of confusion/shock, the owner returns. He wants to make sure that he didn't burn any bridges with us. Right. Shaggy adamantly explains to him that not only will he, but everyone he knows, and everyone he talks to will NEVER eat there again.
Shaggy appropriately ends the transaction with something like "someone needs to teach you how to run your business."